同居时代:婚前同居情况越来越普遍

The number of unmarried cohabiting couples in the US increased more than 17 fold between 1960 and 2010, according to a recent US Census Bureau report.

根据美国人口普查局最新报告显示，美国未婚同居情侣人数在1960年至2010年间增加了17倍以上。

The benefits of cohabitation are obvious: It provides economies of scale as two can live more cheaply than one. It also encourages economic specialization by allowing individuals to focus on their unique skills while leaving other duties to their spouse.

同居的好处显而易见：二人生活更省钱，从而带来规模经济效益；同时二人生活还有利于经济分工，各自管好擅长领域，其余事情留给另一半。

A recent study conducted by the online rental site Rent.com of 1,000 cohabiting individuals in the US, found that 32 percent said living together helped them determine if their partner was “the one”.

根据房地产租赁网站Rent.com对全美1000名同居者进行的一项最新研究显示，32%的人认为同居有助于判断对方是否就是“命中注定的那个人”。

Ellen Mayr, a 25-year-old lawyer from Brisbane, Australia, has been living with her boyfriend for the last three years and is a big advocate of cohabitation. She says: “It’s important to know if you can work as a domestic unit as it’s not always a reflection of how much you love each other. It’s a function of how well you work together under all sorts of different stressors.”

25岁的艾伦·迈尔是一名来自澳大利亚布里斯班的律师，过去三年一直和男友同住的她是个不折不扣的“同居主义”。她说：“弄清你们能否组建家庭这点非常重要，因为这并不一定与感情深浅成正比。而是取决于面对各种压力时你们是否能很好地相处。”

The cohabitation rate is also on the rise among young Chinese. Author and relationship expert Marshall Miller believes cohabiting allows people to get to the “nitty-gritty” of the relationship before committing to marriage. “Cohabitation is a lot like turning the TV to your favorite channel — and then leaving it on 24/7”, he says. “You’re bound to see some stuff you don’t like much.”

与美国的情况类似，中国年轻人的同居率也正在上升。作家兼情感专家马歇尔·米勒认为，同居能让人们在步入婚姻殿堂前了解恋情的“本质”。“同居就好比把电视节目调到自己最喜爱的频道，然后一周24小时循环连播”，他说，“你一定会看到一些不太喜欢的内容。”

Different ways

不同的方式

Mayr also warns that you shouldn’t jump into cohabitation too early. She recounts the story of her friend who bought a house with her boyfriend early on in the relationship. Soon after, they realized they were not ready for that level of commitment and broke up.

此外，迈尔也提醒年轻人不要太早步入同居行列。她讲到了一位朋友的故事，那位朋友和男友刚恋爱不久就买了房子，但他们很快就意识到了自己还没有达到谈婚论嫁的程度，于是就分手了。

According to a 2013 sociological study cited in The Atlantic, 74 percent of cohabiting women are “completely committed” to their partner, while only 59 percent of men said the same. This represents a large divide in expectations among cohabitants, which can often lead to relationship problems later on.

美国《大西洋月刊》援引了2013年的一项社会学研究称，74%的同居女性对伴侣“全身心投入”，而只有59%的男性表示会这样做。这表明同居男女对彼此的期望存在巨大分歧，这往往会导致之后情感问题的出现。

In order to bridge this gap, experts encourage couples to discuss their expectations with each other and ensure they have similar ideas about their relationship before taking any big steps.

为了缩小这一反差，专家鼓励情侣在感情取得实质性跨越之前，应互相讨论彼此的期望，确保对感情抱有相似的看法。

Rebecca Baquet, a 24-year-old business manager from Louisiana, US, has been dating her boyfriend for two years but doesn’t want to move in with him. “I don’t want to live with him until we’re married to keep it as something to look forward to”, she says. “Otherwise, if you’re living together before you’re married there won’t be a difference in the way your normal lives operate and the significance of marriage is reduced.”

24岁的丽贝卡·巴奎特是来自美国路易斯安那州的一名业务经理，她与男友已相恋两年，但还不想同居。“为了保持对同居的那份期待，我还不想和他婚前同居”，她说，“此外，若是未婚同居，那婚前婚后的生活就没有差别，结婚的意义会因此大打折扣。”

This shows cohabitation doesn’t necessarily work for everyone and there are many ways different people like to progress and evolve in their relationship.

综上所述，婚前同居并非适用于所有人，人们也会选择不同方式来为感情加温。