一位爸爸写给女儿的信：关于你未来的那个他

Dear Cutie-Pie,

我的宝贝小甜心：

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

最近我和你妈妈准备在谷歌上搜一个答案。还没输完整个问题，谷歌就显示了一列世界上最常见的搜索。其中排在第一的是“怎么能让他一直对我感兴趣”。

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

这让我有点震惊。我浏览了无数相关的论文，这些文章都是关于女孩如何性感保持美丽，什么时候给他送上一杯啤酒和三明治，以及如何让他觉得聪明和有优越感。

And I got angry.

我怒了。

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."

亲爱的宝贝，你从来，完全都不需要，“让他一直对你感兴趣。”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakeable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego -- that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

亲爱的，你唯一的任务就是不断去了解自己的灵魂——你不该让拒绝、失去和自我占据那个不可撼动的领域——这样你才值得被喜欢。（如果你还能知道每个人都值得被喜欢，那么你的人生已经基本赢了。改天我会在另一封信里再写这部分。）

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

如果你相信自己的价值，那么你的魅力就能用最重要的这句话来形容：你会吸引有能力去爱你同时也想花一辈子时间好好爱你的男生。

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting.

亲爱的，我想告诉你，不用刻意在男生面前保持新鲜感，他会知道你的好和魅力所在。

I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table -- as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.

我不介意他吃饭时会不会把手放桌子上——只要他会把注意力放在你身上，哪怕你大笑时鼻子都发出了怪声，还是止不住的一直看着你。

I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me -- as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

我不介意他不会陪我打高尔夫——只要他能和孩子们玩得开心，并且陶醉于孩子们和你是多么地相像。

I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet -- as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

我不介意他忘带钱包——只要他全心爱你如初，一直不离不弃。

I don't care if he is strong -- as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

我不介意他是不是强壮——只要他能够给你足够空间，让你去不断锻炼内心的力量。

I couldn't care less how he votes -- as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

我一点也不关心他为谁投票——只要他每天早上醒来，都能把你“选”为家里的荣耀和他心中的女神。

I don't care about the color of his skin -- as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

我不介意他的肤色——只要他能用耐心、牺牲、奉献和温柔的笔触在你人生的画布上尽情挥绘。

I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

我不介意他是否有宗教信仰——只要他从小到大都信仰神圣，也知道生命的每个时刻，和你在一起的每分钟，都是非常神圣的。

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

最后，亲爱的，如果你遇到了这样的男人，哪怕我和他完全没有共同点，我们都会有一个最重要的共通之处：

You.

那就是你。

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.

最后，亲爱的，想要让他一直爱你如初的话，你唯一需要做的就是做你自己。

Your eternally interested guy,

永远爱你的

Daddy

爸爸