在工作上做出牺牲的母亲幸福感更强

Two facts are often obscured in the public conversation devoted to women, work, and family. First, the vast majority of married mothers don’t want to work full-time. Second, married mothers who are able to cut back at work to accommodate their family’s needs tend to be happier.

Mothers and fathers were asked by Pew if they had made family-related sacrifices for work—from quitting their job to turning down a promotion. Pew found that 65 percent of mothers had made such a family-related sacrifice, compared to 45 percent of fathers.

Women married with children were more likely to be “very happy” with their lives if they made a family-related work sacrifice. By contrast, the happiness of married men was not significantly related to making work sacrifices for their families.

What does this data really tell us? These results do not prove that spending less time at work makes women happier. It could be, for instance, that happier women are more likely to make work sacrifices, in the first place. Or it could be that more affluent mothers, who are more likely to be happy above a certain level of income, can spend more time with their families than poorer moms.

Most (married) mothers would prefer not to work full-time, and the most popular option for women, when it comes to juggling work and family, is part-time work. A New York Times/CBS Newssurvey this year found that 49 percent of mothers wished to work part-time, compared to 27 percent who wished to work full-time.

This data suggests that one reason married mothers who make work sacrifices are happier is that they would prefer to scale back at work—at least for some portion of their lives as mothers—and are happier when they can do so.

This reality is often glossed over in the public conversation about work, women, and family, but as Catherine Rampell at The New York Times observed: “Not everyone aspires to be an executive at Facebook, like [Sheryl] Sandberg, or to set foreign policy, like Anne-Marie Slaughter” (author of “Why Women Can’t Have It All”).” Instead, as K.J. Dell’Antonia put it, most women are “striving for flexibility and balance” when it comes to juggling their aspirations for success at home and work.

Again, in the public conversation and the formulation of public policies regarding work and family, let us not forget that the happiest married mothers are those who are able to lean homeward, at least for a season in their lives.

在公众对女性、工作和家庭问题的讨论中，人们总会掩盖两个事实。首先，大多数已婚母亲不想全职工作。第二，在工作方面做出牺牲，花更多的经历照管家人的已婚母亲幸福感更强。

皮尤研究中心询问被访父母亲是否因家庭的原因在工作方面做过牺牲——例如辞职或拒绝升职。皮尤研究中心发现，65%的母亲做出过此类牺牲，而父亲中做过类似牺牲的只占45%。

已婚并有孩子的女性如果因为家庭原因在工作上做出了牺牲幸福感可能会更强。相比之下，已婚男性的幸福感与因家庭原因在工作上做出牺牲之间并无太大关联。

这组数据真正表明了什么呢？这些结果不能证明减少工作时间就能让女性感到更幸福。比如说，首先应该是更幸福的女性更愿意在工作上做出牺牲。或者说，与生活不富裕的母亲相比，达到了某一收入水平，生活更为富足的母亲更有资本在家人身上多花些时间。

大多数（已婚）母亲不喜欢全职工作，对于广大女性来说，在权衡工作和家庭时，她们会更倾向于从事一份兼职工作。今年，一项《纽约时报》/哥伦比亚广播公司资讯网的调查发现，49%的母亲希望从事兼职工作，而希望全职工作的比例只有27%。

这组数据显示为家庭牺牲工作的已婚母亲幸福感更强的一个原因就是她们更倾向于缩减工作量——至少要为她们作为母亲的角色腾出一些时间——她们也会因此而感到更幸福。

当人们谈及工作，女性和家庭的话题时，事实往往会被掩盖，然而正如纽约时报记者凯瑟琳·拉姆佩尔所言：“并不是每个人都想像桑德伯格（Sandberg）（Facebook总裁）那样当总裁，或者像安妮-玛丽·斯劳特（Anne-Marie Slaughetr）（《为什么女性仍然不能拥有全部》作者）那样与外交政策打交道。”相反，像K·J·戴尔·安东尼娅说的那样，在平衡事业有成和家庭和睦之间，大多数女性都在“追求灵活和平衡”。

再次提醒各位读者，在公开讨论和制定工作和家庭方面的公共政策时，不要忘了最幸福的已婚母亲是更倾向于家庭的，至少在她们生命中的某一阶段是这样的。