不作死就不会死：13个欠揍的文学角色

There's nothing quite like curling up with a good book and visiting your favorite literary characters. They're wonderful, lovable, and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

没有什么比拿起一本好书、拜访你最喜欢的书中角色更美妙的了。他们如此美妙可爱，让你发自内心感到温暖。

But with them, come...those other characters. The characters that you loathe. The characters that you know you could like, if they just changed that one thing about themselves. They're the characters you just want to smack.

但随之而来的还有其他一些角色，那些你讨厌的角色。你知道，如果这些角色能做出一点改变，你也许会喜欢他们的。而面对这些角色，你只想给他们一耳光。

These characters aren't necessarily bad; in fact, many of them are the protagonists of their stories. But good guy or evil witch, these characters are all in severe need of a wake up call, with a healthy side dose of reality.

这些角色不一定是坏人；事实上许多还是故事的主角。但不管是好人还是恶魔，这些角色都急需被现实唤醒。

Check out our list of 13 famous literary characters we'd like to slap. Who would you add to the list?

看看我们总结的13个欠揍的著名文学作品角色，你还想把谁加上去？

Jay Gatsby, The Great Gatsby

杰·盖茨比——《了不起的盖茨比》

The pitiful, self-centered Daisy Buchanan has been classified for decades as one of the worst characters of all time. But perhaps the real problem with the novel was Jay Gatsby himself. The constant pining over someone as terrible as Daisy is exhausting and makes him every bit as (if not more) horrible than Daisy.

可悲可叹、自我为中心的黛西·布坎南一直被认为是有史以来最讨厌的角色之一。但也许这本小说里真正的问题出在杰·盖茨比自己身上。苦苦守候像黛西这样糟糕的人让他筋疲力尽，而且让他比黛西还要可怕。

Amy March, Little Women

艾美·马区—— 《小妇人》

Amy March is the reason youngest children have a terrible reputation. As a little girl, she's a collicky, spoiled brat, constantly ruining her older sisters' outings. As a young adult, she's snobby, uppity and way too obsessed with her nose.

艾美·马区的存在让所有家庭里最小的孩子都有了坏名声。她还是个小女孩时，就是个爱哭的被宠坏的孩子，总是破坏她姐姐们的郊游。而成年以后，她又势力、傲慢，而且过于着迷于自己的鼻子。

Miss Havisham, Great Expectations

赫维辛小姐——《远大前程》

Miss Havisham adopts a daughter for the sole purpose of using her as a pawn to torment the male species. HOW AWFUL IS THAT?! Plus, that rotting wedding cake must have made her house smell disgusting.

赫维辛小姐收养了一个女儿，而目的只是利用她作为筹码来折磨男性。多可怕呀！另外，那个腐烂的婚礼蛋糕一定让她的房子充满了恶心的味道。

Romeo Montague, Romeo & Juliet

罗密欧·蒙太古——《罗密欧与朱丽叶》

Oh, Romeo. You only knew her for four days. Did you really have to kill yourself over a girl that you knew for less than a week? Not to mention, she was only 13, and your romance would be illegal in most countries.

噢，罗密欧，你认识她只有四天。你真的有必要为了一个认识还不到一周的女孩去自杀吗？何况她只有13岁，你的罗曼史在大多数国家恐怕是非法的。

Joffrey Baratheon, A Song of Ice and Fire series

乔佛里·拜拉席恩——《冰与火之歌》系列小说

Simply put, this kid needs a good spanking.

简单地说，这个孩子需要好好教训一顿。

The Cat in the Hat, The Cat in the Hat

戴帽子的猫——《戴帽子的猫》

Sure, the Cat seems like a fun guy, until you realize he broke into a home, invited his friends over, trashed the place, and then disappeared without a trace. Also, he speaks in obnoxious rhymes.

是的，这只猫看上去好像很有意思，直到你意识到他闯入了一个家庭，还邀请他的朋友一起，把这个地方搞得一团糟，然后又消失的无影无踪。而且他说话的韵脚也很讨厌。

Edmund Pevensie, The Chronicles of Narnia

艾德蒙·佩文西——《纳尼亚传奇》

Did Edmund actually know what Turkish Delights tasted like when he sold out his entire family to the White Witch for a box? For those of you unfamiliar, here's a great description of the treat: "It tasted like soap rolled in plaster dust, or like a lump of Renuzit air freshener: The texture was both waxy and filling-looseningly chewy."

当艾德蒙向白女巫出卖他的整个家庭来换取一盒土耳其软糖的时候，他是否真正知道糖的味道呢？对于不熟悉故事的人，这有一段不错的描述：“这种糖吃起来好像裹了石膏灰的肥皂，又像一块瑞风空气清新剂，感觉又柔软又蓬松难嚼。”

Harry Potter, Harry Potter series

哈利·波特——《哈利波特》系列小说

Harry Potter is one of the greatest literary characters of our time, but he's also one of the most eminently slappable. He's constantly not listening to people and breaking rules, then getting into danger for breaking said rules. Two hundred points to Gryffindor!

哈利·波特是我们这个时代最伟大的文学人物之一，但他也是最欠揍的人物之一。他总是不听别人的话，破坏规矩，然后又因此陷入危险。给格兰芬多学院加200分！

Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

威利·旺卡——《查理和巧克力工厂》

Willy Wonka was a confectionary genius (Everlasting Gobstoppers, anyone?). But the factory he manned was an extremely unsafe workplace environment. Children who entered his workplace often went missing for unexplainable reasons -- how did no one investigate Mr. Wonka for that?!

威利·旺卡是一个糖果天才（制造吃不完的石头弹子糖，有人想吃吗？）但是他的工厂是一个极其不安全的工作环境。进入他的工厂的孩子们总是无缘无故失踪了。怎么没有人因此调查旺卡先生呢？！

Effie Trinket, The Hunger Games series

艾菲·纯克特——《饥饿游戏》系列小说

You can't help but want to shake some sense into Effie Trinket. Her perma-positive attitude when sending children to meet their death is nauseating enough to make you want to send her into the arena.

你忍不住想要给艾菲·纯克特灌输一点良知。她把孩子们送去面临死亡时的积极态度令人恶心，这已经足够让你想要把她送上竞技场了。

Waldo, Where's Waldo?

沃尔多——《沃尔多在哪里？》

Why can't you just be where you're supposed to be, Waldo?

你为什么就不能待在你应该在的地方呢，沃尔多？

Tom Sawyer, Adventures of Tom Sawyer

汤姆·索亚——《汤姆索亚历险记》

Tom Sawyer is a fence painter, death-faker, genuine American psychopath. We don't know why Huckleberry Finn was friends with him.

汤姆·索亚是个围栏油漆工，爱装死，是个真正的美国精神病患者。我们不明白为什么哈克·贝利和他做朋友。

Peter Rabbit, The Tale of Peter Rabbit

彼得兔——《彼得兔的故事》

Peter Rabbit's mother told him not to go into Mr. McGregor's garden. That was THE ONLY RULE. Come to think of it, Peter Rabbit and Harry Potter would get along great.

彼得兔的妈妈告诉他，不要进入麦格雷戈先生的花园。这是唯一的一条规矩。考虑到这一点，彼得兔和哈利·波特也许可以友好相处。