实用10招 和难相处的人们打交道

Whether you’re dealing with a rude customer, an unfair neighbor, or a demanding boss, it can be hard to know how to deal with difficult people. Here are some strategies you can employ to reduce your stress and increase the likelihood that you’ll leave the situation feeling okay.

不论遇到无礼的顾客、刁蛮的邻居还是苛刻的老板，和难处的人打交道都不那么容易。你可以尝试下面的办法来减轻压力、减少事发之后心里的别扭。

1. Listen to What They Have to Say

听对方到底怎么说

Often, a willingness to listen can go a long way when you’re wondering how to deal with difficult people. Allow difficult people to share their opinion. Show that you’re willing to listen by making eye contact, asking questions, and showing an interest in what they have to say.

如果你不知道如何应付难相处的人，那么主动倾听可以帮到不少忙。允许对方表达自己的想法，通过眼神接触、提问或显得有兴趣来表明你愿意倾听。

2. Place a Time Limit on How Long They Can Vent

允许对方发泄，但设定时间限制

Listening, however, doesn’t mean you have to listen for hours on end. Instead, place a time limit on how long you’re willing to listen to difficult people vent. Allowing them to repeat themselves over and over isn’t likely to be helpful in diffusing the situation.

倾听并不表示你必须牺牲几个小时来听对方诉说。当对方发泄时，试着设定时间限制，表明自己只能忍受多久；不要纵容对方喋喋不休抱怨，这对处理问题毫无益处。

Make it clear that you’ve heard what they have to say and that you don’t want to be subjected to hearing all their complaints over and over. Instead, try to move the conversation forward in a direct, yet polite manner.

明确告诉对方：你已经知道他们说的是什么，不想遭受怨言的反复轰炸。直接而礼貌地将话题引开。

3. Don’t Simply Agree with Everything They Say

不要随意应和对方的每句话

Don’t simply nod in agreement to everything difficult people say. Otherwise, they’ll think you’re on the same page. Instead, be willing to say that you disagree, but do so in a respectful manner.

不要随便附和对方说的每件事，否则他们会觉得你和他们是同一立场。你应该得体地表达自己的不赞成。

4. Speak Up to Share Your Point of View

说出自己的观点

It’s important to speak up at a fairly early point in the conversation to make it clear that you share a different point of view. Avoid interrupting, but instead, find a break in the conversation to say, “This is the way I see it.” Then explain your point.

对话一开始就应该明确表示自己持有不同观点。当然，不要打断对方，而应在对话间隙说出“我的看法是……”，然后给出解释。

5. Stick to the Facts

坚持实事求是

Learning how to deal with difficult people often means sticking to the facts. Avoid saying subjective things such as, “You shouldn’t have…” or “That was way out of line.” Instead, state the facts and remain as objective as possible about the order of events.

和难处的人打交道，最重要的就是坚持实事求是。不要讲主观的话，比如“你不应该……”或“太过分了！” 相反，请阐明事实，尽可能对事件条理保持客观态度。

6. Work the Solution

找到解决措施

Avoid focusing on the problem for too long. There’s no need to place blame, rehash over and over why it was wrong, or just repeatedly point out the negative. Take responsibility for your behavior and then direct the conversation toward a solution.

避免在问题上纠结太久。没必要去责怪、一遍又一遍哀怨为什么，或反复盯着消极面不放手。为自己的行为承担责任，将对话引到解决办法上。

Suggest several possible ways to solve the problem. Invite difficult people to do the same. Try to look for a solution that everyone can agree on.

提出解决问题的几个可行办法，带动对方一起想办法，然后争取找出一个双方都能接受的措施。

7. Behave Respectfully

言行举止要得体

No matter how difficult the conversation gets, maintain respectful behavior at all times. You can’t control how the other person behaves or reacts, but you can control your own behavior. Leave the conversation being able to hold your head high, knowing you conducted yourself in the most professional manner possible.

不管对话多么困难，也要随时保证自己言行得体。你无法控制别人怎么说怎么做，但至少可以管好你自己。交涉时要表现出良好素质，表明你能做得专业而得当。

8. Agree to Disagree

保留各自意见

Sometimes you won’t be able to agree on a solution and it makes sense to simply agree to disagree. If you’re both on opposite sides of the fence and neither of you are interested in changing your minds, there’s no need to waste time trying to convince one another to think differently.

有时你无法赞同某个解决办法，那就保留自己的异议。如果双方都各持己见，都不愿做出改变，那也没必要浪费时间试图说服想法完全不同的另一方。

9. Don’t Cave to Every Demand

不要应承所有要求

Just because difficult people become demanding or aggressive, doesn’t mean you need to do what they say. In fact, giving in can reinforce their tactics. Be willing to say no when difficult people make unreasonable demands.

不要因为对方相当苛刻或盛气凌人，你就任由他们颐指气使。其实，你的迁就反倒会助长他们的气焰。如果对方提出不合理的要求，请主动拒绝。

10. End the Conversation if Necessary

必要的话，结束对话

If the conversation gets ugly, be prepared to end it. Don’t allow someone to become threatening or verbally abusive. Instead, make it clear you aren’t willing to hold conversations with people who treat you in a disrespectful manner.

如果对话变得越来越难听，那就不要再沟通下去了。不要纵容对方变得咄咄逼人、甚至口出脏言。相反，你应该明确表示不愿与粗鲁讲话的人进行沟通。