亲爱的别生气：10种方法教你控制愤怒情绪

Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with anger.

下面是几个控制愤怒情绪的实用方法。

1. When you are angry say nothing

愤怒时请保持沉默

If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

人在愤怒时说出的话必定是火上浇油，很容易伤害他人感情。我们发现，在愤怒时讲话，对方也会消极回应，使气氛更加紧张。如果能保持沉默，或许愤怒反倒会渐渐平息。

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” - Thomas Jefferson

“愤怒的时候，先数到十再开口；如果非常愤怒，那就数到一百吧。”——托马斯·杰斐逊

2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry

无视那些激怒我们的人

Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.

有些人的趣味就是那么恶俗，总是故意挑你生气。但是，如果我们无视他们的言行，觉得他们的言行根本就不值得费心，那么这些言行自然就不攻而破了。而且，不管他们怎么挑拨，只要我们不予理睬，他们也会感到自讨没趣，便也不再骚扰我们。

3. Use reason to stop anger

理智停止愤怒

When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.

当我们怒上心头时，赶紧打住，告诉自己：“这么生气又能怎样呢？发火只能使一切更糟吧。” 就算当时确实有些气愤不过，但在心里默念这些能稍微趋缓愤怒情绪。

4. Look kindly upon Others

和善看待对方

Another visualization, suggested by spiritual teacher Paramhansa Yogananda, is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.

还有一个是视觉化的方法，用精神导师帕拉姆汉萨·尤迦南达的话来说，就是把对方看成一个耍脾气的5岁小孩。一旦你把对方看成一个无助的5岁小孩，心里就会感到同情与宽容了。如果是你的小弟弟不小心刺伤了你，你不至于愤怒到想要报复吧？或许，你会觉得弟弟太小还不懂事。当家人偶尔使你抓狂时，这个办法确实很管用。

5. Value Peace more than ange

珍惜平和心态，远离愤怒情绪

If we value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to remain in our system. As Sri Chinmoy says:

如果将平和心态视为最重要的东西，那我们就绝不会让愤怒破坏它了。正如斯里·奇莫伊大师所言：

“You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind..”

“或许你有一万个理由可以对一个人发火，但是别忘了，当你动怒时，你也会失去你最珍贵的平和心态。”

6. Always try to understand those who are cross

尝试理解发怒的人

Don’t worry about feeling the need to defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.

不要担心自己总是以防卫的姿态面对批评。如果你能保持镇定自若，对方或许会因自己对你发火而感到愧疚。同时受你的镇静情绪感染，他们或许也会不自觉地冷静下来。

7. Focus on Something Completely Different

转移注意力

Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.

假如有人做了什么让你生气的事，那就多想想开心的事情。对付消极的灵丹妙药莫过于将注意力转移到积极方面了。

8. Breathe Deeply

深呼吸

The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.

简单的深呼吸动作能相对减轻愤怒的情绪。

9. Meditation

冥想

Practice meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during testing times.

经常冥想有助于保持内心祥和平静。如果我们有办法达到内心平静，何不在愤怒时用一用呢？

10. Smile

微笑

When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations.

微笑能化解许多消极境况。微笑意味着对他人心存善意。微笑无需花费金钱，却能有效缓和紧张的气氛。

Common Sense

小常识

If you leave your unlocked bike in the centre of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should minimise this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike. If we feel there is an injustice in our workplace, we should work to resolve it; this will make our work environment more peaceful and less prone to creating anger. If we have a partner who is abusive, the solution is not just dealing with our own anger, but finding a more peaceful living situation.

如果你把自行车停在镇中心却不加锁，车很可能会被偷。而车被偷自然会让你感到沮丧愤怒。所以，要避免这种愤怒情绪，最简单的莫过于先锁好自行车。同样，如果我们在工作中感到不公平，也应该想办法解决问题，这样才能保证工作环境平静舒心、没有怒气搅扰。如果我们的伴侣比较粗暴，那么我们不仅要疏导自己的愤怒情绪，也得想办法寻求更适合的生活。

When we try to transcend anger, it doesn’t mean we have to acquiesce to injustice and unfairness. We should strive to make the world a better place. However, whatever our goals, it is always best to act with poise and a clear mind. Acting under the influence of anger makes it more difficult to attain what we wish to achieve.

当我们尝试克服愤怒情绪时，并不意味着默许不公平不公正现象。我们有责任让世界更美好，但是，不管各自怀着怎样的目标，都应保持头脑清醒、泰然自若。带着怒气行事只会让目标离我们越来越远。