这些迹象表明你们的恋情并不开心

Signs You Might Be in an Unhappy Relationship

这些迹象表明你们的恋情并不开心

1. There's no fight left.

1. 你们不再争吵。

Common sense would pinpoint having too many arguments as a relationship red flag. And while that may be true, so is the opposite: "Healthy relationships have conflict," says Stephanie Wijkstrom, a psychotherapist and founder of The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh. "A normal dose of disagreement shows that you are investing in the relationship."

常识告诉你：争吵太多表明你们的恋情出现了问题。即便这可能是事实，但反过来也是如此：“争吵是健康恋情的一部分，”匹兹堡咨询与健康中心的心理治疗师兼创始人史蒂芬妮·维克斯特姆（Stephanie Wijkstrom）说道。“正常的纠纷表明你对这段感情投入了时间和精力。”

Without that, the emotional climate of a relationship can become stagnant. "When a couple isn't bickering or disagreeing at all, that's a sign that both members of the couple have given up and are feeling hopeless about the impact they can have on each other and about the chances of the relationship changing," says Lyons.

若完全没有争吵，你们的恋情就会停滞不前。“当情侣不再争吵或不再出现分歧，这或许表明双方已不抱希望，觉得自己无法对另一半产生影响，无法改变这段感情，”里昂（Lyons）说道。

2. You prioritize your friends and family over your partner.

2. 你认为朋友和家人比另一半重要。

While it's important to make time for people outside your relationship, it becomes an issue if you'd always rather see them than your partner. "When you had a good day at work, when you ran into someone you haven't seen in a while, when you find a $20 bill in your jacket pocket—who do you want to run and tell?" asks Raffi Bilek, a couples counselor and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center. "If you're in a happy relationship, odds are it's your partner. If you're not, it's probably somebody else."

虽然和其他人相处也很重要，但如果你总想着和其他人而非另一半见面，这就成了问题。“在你工作很开心的时候，在你遇到了好久没见的熟人的时候，在你发现衣服口袋里有20块钱的时候——你最想告诉谁呢？”巴尔的摩治疗中心的夫妻顾问和主任拉菲·比莱克（Raffi Bilek）问道。“如果你们的感情融洽，你最想与之分享的人应该是另一半。如若不然，你首先想到的可能是其他人。”

Beware of overly relying on friends or family for emotional safety and support, too. "That's a sign that someone has lost not only the desire to bring their deeper emotions to their partner, but that they may no longer feel safe being vulnerable with them," says Kimberly Ciardella, a marriage and family therapist.

同时，过度依赖朋友或家人向他们寻求情感慰藉和支持也是一个危险迹象。“这表明你不仅丧失了对另一半吐露内心深处情感的欲望，而且还觉得和他/她在一起的时候没有安全感，”婚姻和家庭治疗师金伯利·恰尔代拉（Kimberly Ciardella）说道。

3. Date night ceases to exist.

3. 约会之夜不复存在。

When date nights, no matter how short, become non-existent, or your partner finds excuses to avoid coming home (or vice versa), alarm bells should go off. "People use 'being busy' as a way to run away from and avoid being intimate and close," says psychologist Mary Ann Mercer. "They're also running away from their problems. They hide in all their activities and hope that things will just heal themselves, but they won't."

当约会之夜（不论时间长短）不复存在，或你的另一半找借口不回家（反之亦然）时，你心中的警钟就该敲响了。“有些人会以‘我很忙’为借口避开与另一半亲密，”心理学家玛丽·安·默瑟（Mary Ann Mercer）说道。“这种做法也是在逃避问题。他们以各种活动为挡箭牌，希望事情能自我解决，但大家都知道，这是不可能的。”