30岁前我们都应该学会的10堂人生课

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

我无比希望年轻的时候学到足够多的东西，好好理解，好好利用。然而，关乎智慧以及人生课堂，往往都是在事过境迁之后的反思中才能得以领悟。我们这些过来人也十分愿意与你们分享经历，以及我们领悟到的人生课。

1. Money will NEVER solve your real problems

钱不能解决你的实际问题

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems. There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

金钱只是个工具，能买到生活所需和一些不错的“必需品”，但不是解决你问题的万能药。有很多人虽然没有很多钱，但仍然过着充实愉快的生活，相反，有些人十分富有，却活得并不幸福。

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

钱能买来好房子、好车子、漂亮的鞋子，以及一些安全感和舒适度，但却无法修复一段破碎的关系，无法治愈孤独，它所带来的幸福感转瞬即逝也并不实在。幸福不能靠钱来买。如果你总是希望考买什么来获得幸福，你永远都不会幸福。

2. Pace yourself

放慢脚步

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

年轻的时候，我们总觉得成人之路刚刚开始，总想一次把所有事都完成。我们需要为所有事作出决定，进行人生规划，体验所有的事情，达到顶峰，找到真爱，发现我们人生的目标，所有的都同时完成。

Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit. Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

慢点吧，别太着急。慢慢开始自己的生活，等等看看自己到了什么地方，花点时间去衡量一下自己的选择。享受每一口食物，花点时间看看周围，让别人完成他们的倾诉。给自己点时间去思考和沉思。行动是十分关键的。朝着你的目标前进，为未来做出规划的确很值得有用，但全速前进似乎是张单程票，让你无法回头，还会让你错失路边的风景。

3. You can’t please everyone

你无法取悦每个人

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby

我不知道成功的秘诀是什么，我只知道失败的秘诀是去讨好每个人——比尔·科斯比

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside. Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

你不需要让所有人都赞同抑或喜欢你。希望获得认可、喜欢、尊重和重视，这是人之常情，但别以牺牲你的正直和幸福为代价。你在追寻的肯定感，其他人给不了，这需要来自你的内心。大声说出来，坚持自己的想法，必要时捍卫自己的立场，要求得到尊重，忠于自己的价值观。

4. Your health is your most valuable asset

健康是最宝贵的财富

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth. We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to. Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

健康是无价之宝——要一直重视、呵护和保护它。年轻人往往在最值得呵护健康的年纪大肆挥霍，我们把健康当成理所当然的一件事，因为它就在那里。我们不想要担心，所以也从未真正关注过它，直到健康出现问题。心脏病、骨质疏松、哮喘和癌症——这个清单很长，这些病实际上也都是可以预防的，所以好好呵护自己的健康吧，免得以后后悔。

5. You don’t always get what you want

你不可能一直得到自己想要的东西

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

当我们正在为生活疲于奔命时，生活已离我们而去。——约翰·列侬

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s ok. We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

无论你多么仔细的规划和努力，有时候事情总是不按照你的计划发展，没关系，我们都有些许期待，对理想的生活有一定的设想，但这并不是我们真正的生活。也许有时我们的梦想无法实现，或是中途改变了想法。有时我们不得不放弃而去追求正确的事物，而有时我们需要在找到正确方向时经历其他的东西。

6. It’s not all about you

世界不是围着你转的

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want? It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

你不是宇宙的核心。的确用你以外的视角来看世界有点难，我们都太过于专注自己生活里的一切，我今天需要干什么？这对我、我的工作和生活又意味着什么？我想要什么？对自己生活中发生的一切了如指掌无可厚非，但你也需要关心周围发生了什么，你生活中类似的事情又是如何影响到你周围的人的。这样会让你看待事物更加客观。

7. There’s no shame in not knowing

不知为不知

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection. We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life. Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

没有人知晓所有事，没有人知道所有问题的答案。所以说不知道根本不是什么丢脸的事。装着完美只会让你不完美。还会让你看上去像一个神经过敏的伪完美艺术品罢了。我们必须知道，有时需要承认我们的无知和不确定，我们不可能知道所有的事情。我们都会犯错，还会弄砸一些事情。边走边学，这就是人生。再说了，没有人喜欢万事通。一些无知反而能让你更加人性化，更易接近哦。

8. Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice

爱不仅仅是感觉，而是选择

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible. Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful. Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard, but it is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

迸发的愉悦，让你心跳加快的爱情和激情都无法持久，但这并不是说长久的爱情并不存在。爱与感觉无关，是一个你每天都需要做的选择。我们需要选择忘记烦恼，去原谅，去友善、尊敬、支持以及忠贞。感情需要经营，有时很容易有时似乎无比艰难。这都取决于我们自己的选择，到底想在这段感情中如何表现、思考和说话。

9. Perspective is a beautiful thing

远见很美妙

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing. The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

往往失去远见时，我们就会变得焦虑和低落。我们生活里发生的每件事都那么重大那么重要，不做好就会死，但长远来看，这一件小事似乎根本就微不足道。我们经历的冲突，没有得到的工作，或有或无的轻蔑，突如其来的改变航向，我们想要却没有得到的东西。20、30、40年之后，大部分都会变得微不足道。当你的眼光只放在近期，那么很难去看得长远。所以除非是威胁到生命的事情，否则其他的就放下吧，继续前进。

10. Don’t take anything for granted

别把任何事当做理所当然

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow. When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not. Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

很多东西直到失去我们才会懂得珍惜，这包括健康、家人和朋友、工作，现有或未来会有的金钱。年轻的时候，父母一直在身边，但他们不能一直陪伴下去；你总觉得有充足的时间，和老朋友们保持联系或是花时间和新朋友玩乐，但实际并没有；你有钱花，然后觉得下个月也会有钱花，其实也许没有。你生活中所有的事情明天都不一定还存在着，包括那些你爱的。

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

这些人生课很难学习，但却是至关重要的：生活可以瞬间万变。只要好好珍惜现在所拥有的就足够了。