恋爱必修课：10种方法让你忘掉分手的那个他

Breakups suck (Bieber and Selena, we feel you.) But lots of times, they're for the best. (Repeat after us: It's for the best.) Susan Elliot, relationship counselor and author of Getting Past Your Breakup, and Caryn Beth Rosenthal and Maryjane Fahey, authors Dumped and founders of dumped411.com, have tips on moving on.

失恋的感觉糟透了（刚分手的小情侣比伯和瑟琳娜，我们懂你们的感受）。但是很多时候，分手其实也是一件好事。苏珊-埃利奥特是恋爱关系顾问，也是《让失恋成为过去》的作者；贝丝-罗森塔尔和玛丽安娜-费伊是《分手》的作者和dumped411.com网站的创建者，她们一起给出了快速走出失恋痛苦的几个小贴士。

1. Go Cold Turkey

戒掉和他之间的联系

Staying in touch with him just keeps you stuck in the past, so at least in the beginning, break off all contact: Unfriend him, remove his name from Gchat, and delete him from your phone. If you have friends in common, take a temporary hiatus from them, too.

和他保持联系只会让你沉浸在过去，所以至少一开始时和他解除所有的联系：和他解除好友关系，把他的名字从Gchat联系人列表上去掉，把他的信息从电话中删除。如果你和他有共同的朋友，暂时也和他们断开联系。

2. Travel Somewhere Fabulous

去美丽的地方旅游

Take a trip to a place that's the total opposite of where you live. So if you're in the city, head to a yoga retreat or spend the weekend at a spa in the country; if you're in a small town, party in Austin or Miami with your bestie. Travel not in your budget right now? At least hang out in a different part of town. When you're taking in a ton of new stimulation, you won't have a chance to wallow in the past.

去一个和你现在所住地方完全相反的地方旅行。所以如果你现在住在城里，那你可以去瑜伽静养所或周末去乡村做spa；如果你住在小城镇里，那你可以和死党去奥斯汀或迈阿密聚会去。现在没有预算去旅游？至少去城镇中的另一个地方玩玩。如果你周围到处都是新鲜的事物，你就不会有机会沉迷于过去了。

3. Eat More Salad

多吃点儿沙拉

The iconic post-breakup image is a girl in her sweats with a remote in one hand and a pint of Ben & Jerry's in the other. But even though you might feel like scarfing a dish of Cherry Garcia and vegging all day, you'll move on faster by eating healthy and amping up your workouts (a natural endorphin booster, btw). It's cheesy but true: When you feel terrific about how you look on the outside, you'll feel better on the inside too.

分手后的女孩标志性形象是一手拿着遥控器，一手拿着一品脱的本＆杰里冰激凌。但即使你可能喜欢一天到晚吃樱桃巧克力冰激凌和蔬菜，但健康饮食和加大运动量会让你的动作更灵敏。这句话虽有点儿俗气但却是真的：当你对外表满意的时候，你的内心也会感觉良好。

4. Flaunt Your Body

秀出你的身材

Ditch the breakup comfort clothes (college sweatshirt, boxer shorts) and rock outfits that amplify your hotness, like stilettos, a mini, or red lipstick. Every stare you get equals a confidence jolt.Check yourself out in the mirror, and give yourself props for your sexiest features.

脱掉宽松舒适的衣服（大学的运动衫、平角短裤），穿上能让你辣味十足的服装，比如穿上细高跟鞋、迷你裙或涂上红色的唇膏。每受到一次注目，你的自信心就会提高一次。照照镜子，找出自己性感的地方，夸奖一下自己。

5. Schedule a Massage

预约去做按摩

Getting pampering puts your focus back on you instead of the relationship. Plus, getting a facial or pedicure makes you feel and look fantastic.

享受一下舒服的全身护理，会让你把注意力重新放到自己身上而不是放在感情上。另外，做个面部护理或修修脚会让你感觉好极了，看起去也很棒。

6. Fake It 'Til You Make It

假装忘掉他，直到你忘掉他

Trust us on this one. Even though you're not over him, act like you are…and it will eventually manifest. Force yourself to go to parties and flirt with other guys, and one day you'll realize you're not just pretending to have fun or playing along with the dude hitting on you-you're legitimately into it.

相信我们。即使你忘不了他，你的行为要让人看起来你忘掉了他…...最终会成真的。强迫自己参加聚会，勾搭一下其他的男性朋友，有一天你会意识到你不是在假装享受乐趣或和喜欢你的人一起玩——这样做已经名正言顺了。

7. Make Yourself Busy

让自己忙起来

One of the hardest things about breaking up is no longer having a permanent buddy to hang out with every night of the week. To fill the void, make more plans-organize a weekly happy hour with coworkers and brunch dates with your girls. Take on a new hobby, like wine and painting classes or volunteering to walk dogs at an animal shelter.

失恋时最难的事情是每天晚上不再有一个人一直和你待在一起。要想弥补这种空虚感，多做些计划——和同事一起每周享受一次欢乐时光，和女性朋友们一起吃早午餐。找一个新的爱好，比如品酒、参加绘画班或去动物收容所做志愿者帮忙遛狗。

8. …But Also Let Yourself Cry …

但是也要允许自己大哭

Leave enough room in your sched for the occasional night when you stay home and process the loss of your relationship. Give yourself an hour or two to let it all out, because expressing your grief will help you heal. Just be sure to end things on a positive note, like enjoying a bubblebath or chick flick.

在你的日程表上留下足够的时间，这样偶尔一晚上，你可以待在家里处理失恋的感觉。给自己一两个小时发泄一下，因为表达悲伤可以帮你治愈。但是要注意用积极的事情结束，比如享受泡泡浴或看看肥皂剧。

9. De-Clutter Your Life

清理你的生活

Toss his toiletries, send clothes he left at your place back to him, and put any gifts or cards he gave you in a box in your closet (decide later whether you want to keep them; if you purge everything right away, you might regret it). Beyond ditching his stuff, shed clutter in general. Clearing out your place helps clear out your mind and make room for the new.

把他的洗浴用品都扔掉，把他留在你家里的衣服还给他，把他给你的礼物或卡片都放在柜子里的盒子里（以后再决定是否想保留它们；如果你现在就清理，你以后可能会后悔的）。除了清理他的东西外，也清理一下杂物。清理房间能帮助你清空大脑，为新的事物腾出空间。

10. Take Off Your Blinders

不要一叶障目

Many women either demonize or idolize their ex post-split. But if you only focus on what an a-hole he was, you'll get bitter. And if all you can remember is his amazing qualities, no other guy will be able to measure up. So take a relationship inventory: Make list of your ex's good and bad traits so you get a complete picture of him. Then remind yourself that the person you're ultimately supposed to be with is out there, and the longer you stay entrenched in your ex, the longer it'll take you to find him.

很多女性在分手之后要么把前任男友妖魔化要么就偶像化。但是如果你只关注他不好的方面，你会更加痛苦。如果你只能想起他有多么好，那没有人能代替得了他。所以开一张情感清单吧：把前任的优点和缺点都列出来，这样你能全面地了解他。然后提醒自己， 适合你的那个人在等着你。你想前任的时间越长，你就需要更长的时间才能找到另一半。