情人节梦魇:你在相亲还是在去相亲的路上

VALENTINE'S Day is a particularly embarrassing time for many men and women looking for love in China, where it's traditionally considered shameful to remain single after 30.

在中国，情人节对于许多还在寻找真爱的男女来说是一个特别尴尬的时间，这里30岁之后还单身传统上被认为是可耻的。

This year, the Western holiday fell on the fifth day of the Chinese lunar New Year, in the middle of family gatherings and feasts that often focus on gossip, including who is getting married and who is going to have a baby.

今年，这个西方节日落在农历新年的第五天，在家庭聚会和宴会中经常关注绯闻，包括谁要结婚和谁将有婴儿。

Lonely hearts are then forced center stage. Well-meaning aunts and uncles work to arrange dates that promise to ruin the rest of the holiday.

孤独的心那时被逼至舞台中央。好心的叔叔和阿姨忙着安排相亲的承诺毁了其余的假期。

"I am either on a date or on my way to the next date," one microblogger posted.

“我不是在约会就是在去下一个约会的路上，”一位微博用户发贴称。

"I was forced to go on two dates during the first four days of the holiday," said Cheng Xiaonian, an office worker in Taiyuan, capital of north China's Shanxi Province. "I was not in the mood to meet anyone, but my mom called me a weirdo, saying I was immature, unsociable and too picky."

“我被迫在假期的前四天进行两个约会，”中国北部山西省省会太原的上班族陈晓年说。“我没心情见任何人，但我妈妈叫我怪人，说我不成熟、不和气的和太挑剔。”

Cheng, the only child in her family, is 29, a borderline "old maid" as far as her mother is concerned.

程，家里的独身子女，29岁，处在“老处女”的边缘，正如她母亲所担心的。

"I know how people will look at me and my family if I remain single, and I know precisely how my mom feels," she said. "But I'm still a green hand at my current job and I'm under heavy pressure. I don't have the time or energy for dating."

“如果我继续保持单身我知道人们会怎么看我和我的家人，我清楚的知道我妈妈的感觉，”她说。“但我在我目前的工作上还是一个新手，我承受着巨大的压力。我没有时间和精力来约会。”

Like most of her peers, Cheng said she believes her "Mr Right" is waiting for her somewhere. "I will meet the right person at the right time. These forced dates will not work," she said.

像大多数的同龄人一样，程晓年说她相信她的“Mr Right”正在某个地方等她。“我将在正确的时间遇到正确的人。这些使得约会不起作用，”她说。

Despite their reluctance, it's always difficult to turn down a warm-hearted aunt's invitation to a "private chat" at a restaurant or coffee shop, only to find a complete stranger of the opposite sex, often equally uneasy, struggling to strike up a conversation.

尽管他们不情愿，但总是很难拒绝一个热心的阿姨邀请你前往餐馆或咖啡店的一个“私人聊天会”，却发现一个完全陌生的异性，往往同样不安，并努力搭讪。

"My parents worry that their only son might end up to be a bachelor for life and relatives simply enjoy nosing into others' private lives," wrote one male microblogger. "As a result, I live like a zoo animal, being watched and commented on by different people every day."

“我父母担心自己唯一的儿子可能会以一个单身汉的生活孤独终老，亲戚只是喜欢打听别人的私人生活，”一个男性微博博主写道。 “结果我活得像一个动物园的动物，每一天被不同的人监视和评论。”

An online poll conducted by matchmaking service baihe.com found that more than 80 percent of respondents under the age of 33 felt pressure regarding love and marriage, saying they felt guilty about being unable to find love.

由相亲服务网站百合网发起的一个在线民意调查发现，超过80%的33岁以下的受访者谈到爱情和婚姻时会有压力，说他们对无法找到真爱感到愧疚。

As the pressure mounts, some even rent a boyfriend or girlfriend to accompany them home to make their parents happy. Such "rent-a-date" services have been popular on shopping website taobao.com for at least the past two years.

随着压力的增加，一些人甚至租一个男朋友或女朋友陪他们回家让父母高兴。这样的“租对象”服务至少在过去两年在购物网站淘宝上受欢迎起来。

Most singles around the age of 30 are well-educated, independent and have plans for their careers, said Zhou Xiaopeng, a specialist on love and family issues for baihe.com.

大多数三十岁左右的单身男女都受过良好的教育、独立、有自己的事业规划，百合网的婚恋专家周小鹏说。

"They represent a new trend in urban life," he said. "In big cities like Beijing and Shanghai, at least a million people are unmarried after 30. Family members and society should be more tolerant of their lifestyle and respect their choices. Leave them alone, relax and they will ultimately find their Valentine."

“他们在城市生活中代表了一种新的趋势，”他说。“在北京、上海等大城市中，至少有一百万人30岁以后还未婚。家庭成员和社会应该对他们的生活方式更加宽容，尊重他们的选择。不要打扰他们，放心，他们最终会找到他们的情人。”