美美的新年愿望:找个丈夫

IT'S my first Chinese class of the year with my Mandarin teacher, Meimei. We are discussing New Year's resolutions. Meimei's is to find a husband.

这是我今年与我的中文老师美美的第一节中文课。我们正在讨论新年计划。美美计划找到一个丈夫。

"2013 is the year I will meet my husband!" she declares. "And in 2017 I will get married!"

“2013年是我将遇到我丈夫的一年！”她说。“2017年我将结婚！”

My resolutions are to take more pictures and order food delivery less often, but I admire her ambition. "You're right!" I tell her. "Perhaps I need to think bigger."

我计划拍摄更多的照片，少定一些快餐，但是我很佩服她的雄心。“你是对的！”我告诉她。“也许我需要考虑得长远一些。”

Being the same age and single, Meimei and I have great empathy with one another, although our circumstances are not exactly the same. Like most unmarried Chinese women nearing 30, she comes under intense pressure from her parents to find a husband. My mother, by contrast, takes the subtler approach of simply wondering out loud whether she will ever become a grandmother.

同样年龄和单身，美美和我对彼此有强烈的共鸣，尽管我们的情况下并不完全相同。像大多数未婚的接近30岁的中国女性一样，她开始承受来自父母要求找一个丈夫的巨大压力。我的母亲，相比之下，以简单地想知道她是否会成为一个祖母的想法采取着更微妙的方式。

Today Meimei is full of romantic optimism, because the day before our class was January 4, 2013. In Mandarin this sounds a bit like Yi Sheng Yi Shi (201314), which means "Love You All My Life," she explains. Apparently 10,000 Chinese couples chose the day to get married.

今天美美全是浪漫的乐观情绪，因为我们课的前一天是2013年1月4日。普通话听起来有点像“一生一世” (201314)，这意味着“一生都爱你，”她解释说。很显然一万对中国夫妇选择了这一天结婚。

"Maybe January 4, 2017, will be your turn!" I say.

“也许2017年1月4日将轮到你！”我说。

She shudders and I realize I have committed a terrible faux pas. "That sounds like 'I want to die'," she says in a horrified whisper. "That wouldn't be a romantic choice for a wedding date."

她浑身颤抖，我意识到我犯了一个可怕的社交错误。“那听起来像‘我想死’，”她用一种惊恐的声音小声说。“这不会是婚礼日期的浪漫选择。”

China's obsession with auspicious-sounding numbers never fails to tickle me, given that so many words in Mandarin actually do sound the same. In addition, there are a whole host of superstitious homophones that it seems only Chinese can hear. My birthday, May 20, is also a good day, according to Meimei, because it supposedly sounds like the Chinese for 'I love you.' Except that it really doesn't.

中国人对听起来吉祥的数字的执迷总是使我发笑，考虑到汉语中那么多字实际听起来一样。此外，还有一整套同音异义词，似乎只有中国人才能听到。我的生日，5月20日，也是一个好日子，根据美美的说法，因为它能听起来像中国的“我爱你。”除了它真的没有。

Being female, 30 and unmarried in China is not considered lucky. Meimei uses the English counting system because it makes her 29, instead of the Chinese system, where babies are born aged 1 and she is already past it.

作为30岁的未婚女性在中国被认为是不幸运的。美美使用英语计数系统因为这使她才29岁，而不是中国的系统，在婴儿出生时1岁，那样算她早已经过了29岁。

For months her concerned parents have been sending her on blind dates, which inevitably fail to live up to expectations. She delights in regaling me with tales of these boring men, including the latest, a public servant whose sole topic of conversation consists of asking her what she has eaten that day.

几个月来她操心的父母一直让她相亲，这不可避免地无法实现预期。她喜欢和我讲这些无聊男人的故事，包括最新的那位，唯一的话题就是问那一天她吃了什么的公务员。

"One day he wanted to go out for rice porridge. In the evening!" she says.

“有一天他想出去吃稀饭。在晚上！”她说。

With the 30 deadline fast approaching, Meimei has decided to take fate into her own hands and pay large sums to a professional matchmaker, who has promised to introduce her to hundreds of suitable men.

30岁期限即将到来，美美已经决定要掌握自己的命运，支付大笔金钱给职业媒人，那个已答应给她介绍数百个合适男人的人。

Dating in China involves a minefield of complex requirements. According to Meimei, men are supposed to be Gao Fu Shuai - tall, rich and handsome - while women should be Bai Fu Mei - white, rich and beautiful. Men have the added responsibility of securing a car, a house and a promotion by the time they reach their fourth decade if they are to have any hope of finding a wife.

在中国约会涉及到复杂需求的雷区。根据梅梅，男人应该成为高富帅——个高、富有、英俊，而女性则应该成为白富美——肤白、富有和美丽。男人还有额外的责任来保证一辆车、一栋房子以及当他们到40岁时的一场晋升如果他们想有任何找到妻子的希望。

"Everyone says Shanghai women are so superficial," she sniffs. "But I don't mind at all if my future husband doesn't have a car. Or a house. As long as, you know, he was going to buy one at some point."

“每个人都说上海女性是如此肤浅，”她鄙视地说。“但我一点都不介意如果我未来的丈夫没有车。或一栋房子。只要，你知道，他将在某个时间段能买上。”

The matchmaker asked Meimei for a list of her criteria and she said that he should be kind and earn a minimum of 5,000 yuan (US$804) a month. The matchmaker took one look at clever, beautiful Meimei, and told her she was setting the bar too low.

媒人问美美她的一系列标准，她说他应该友好，月收入至少5000元(804美元)。媒人看了一眼聪明漂亮的美美，告诉她她设置的门槛很低。

"You need to double the salary requirement to at least 10,000 a month," she advised.

“你需要两倍的工资要求，至少一万一个月，”她建议道。

Meimei is a bit put out by this.

美美对此有点恼怒。

"Any nice man with a house and a car has definitely gone by now," she says gloomily. "If my expectations were really so low, doesn't she think I would have found one already?"

“任何有房有车的好男人现在绝对走了，”她沮丧地说。“如果我的期望真如此低，难道她不认为我早就应该找到了吗？”