不能说的秘密:男人也在暗中节食减肥

When you're trying to diet in secret in a busy office, says Dave Briscoe, a researcher from Surrey, the trick is to accept each treat that is offered – but only one chocolate, and the smallest piece of cake. Accept less, and you'll be suspect. Accept more, and your plan is scuppered. "That was the rule I kept to," he says, "to avoid people asking awkward questions."

当你想在繁忙的办公室秘密节食，戴夫‧布里斯科说，一位来自萨里郡的研究者，技巧在于接受他人提供的每一次招待——但只吃一块巧克力，以及最小的那块蛋糕。少拿了，你会被怀疑。多拿了，你的计划就泡汤了。“这是我一直保持的规则，”他说，“为了避免人们询问一些尴尬的问题。”

Briscoe (not his real name) isn't the only man who has dieted in secret. A survey of more than 600 men, conducted for the home delivery brand Diet Chef, found 90% wanted to lose weight, but almost one in three wouldn't tell anyone about their diet plans – even friends and family. It seems that a surfeit of shame still exists around weight and a good proportion of people at any one time are likely to be dieting secretly. But this issue seems to affect men and women in different ways.

Briscoe (化名)并不是唯一在秘密节食的人。一个由送货上门品牌Diet Chef进行的对超过600人的调查发现90%的人想减肥，但几乎三分之一的人不会告诉任何人关于他们的饮食计划——即便是朋友和家人。看来，饮食过度的耻辱仍然对体重存在影响，大多数人任何时候都可能在秘密节食。但是这个问题似乎以不同的方式影响着男人和女人。

Phil Mundy, a food and diet writer, says many men are unwilling to say they are on a diet because it involves admitting they have a problem in the first place. This isn't helped by the fact that "the term diet, for decades, has been associated with women", and for men of a certain age it's therefore considered emasculating. He thinks there might be more willingness among younger men to discuss weight in public – but the problem is, if they do, says Briscoe, it's still considered acceptable "to take the piss out of them, in a way you never would with women. It's seen as just a part of office banter, but for men it's equally upsetting. Why wouldn't it be?"

菲尔•曼迪，餐饮作家，说很多男人都不愿意说他们正在节食，因为这涉及承认首先他们存在问题。这并不是得益于这样一个事实，即“术语节食几十年来都一直和女人有关”，对于一定年龄的男人来说这有可能会被认为是自虐。他认为年轻男性可能更愿意在公共场合讨论体重，但问题是，如果他们这样做，Briscoe说，它仍被认为可以接受“他们被嘲笑，以一种你从未那样对待女性的方式。这仅被视为办公室幽默的一部分，但对男人也同样困扰。为什么不是呢？”

Bob Baker (again, not his real name), from Brighton, says the moment it becomes possible to discuss weight is often when a secret dieter has shifted a good few stone, and feels proud of their achievement. At that stage, Briscoe agrees, men will often start talking about it, "but in my experience they'll make it sound simpler, more sensible and easier than it probably was. They just cut out a certain food, or stopped eating after a certain time. They won't be telling the whole truth; just a version. They won't be saying: 'Actually, this has been quite a big part of my everyday thoughts.' They want to portray it like a DIY problem. 'There was a problem, and I fixed it.'"

鲍勃•贝克(再一次，不是他的真名)，来自布赖顿，说有可能谈论体重的那一刻通常是当一个秘密的节食者已经瘦下来很多同时他们为自己的成就而感到自豪的时候。在那个阶段，Briscoe同意男人通常会开始谈论它，“但根据我的经验，他们将会让它比原来听起来更简单、更明智、更容易。他们只是杜绝一种特定的食物，或一定时段之后停止进食。他们不会告诉你全部的真相，只是一个版本。他们不会说：’实际上，这是我每天所想的大问题。’ 他们想将其描绘成像一个像DIY那样的问题。’有问题，同时我解决了。’”

There are mixed outlooks on whether it is healthier to be open; support from family and friends can, of course, be helpful, but divulging your diet to anyone who might respond with fat jibes could prompt a sorry descent into comfort eating, says Mundy. When it comes to this subject, we probably all just need to grow up, so it can be discussed honestly and clearly. It's not an uncommon problem – and it shouldn't be an unspeakable one.

关于是否更健康的公开前景模糊；来自家人和朋友的支持当然是有帮助的，但向嘲笑脂肪的人泄露你的饮食可能导致功亏一篑从而陷入安慰性饮食，曼迪说。当谈到这个问题时，我们可能都只需要长大起来，所以它才可以被诚实而清晰地讨论。这不是不寻常的问题——它不应该成为不能言说的秘密。