如何正确跳楼？网友们爆笑回答

某人在网上发帖问："In case I want to jump off a tall building, what would be the proper way to go about it?"（如果我想从高楼上跳下去，用什么方式比较合适呢？）不知道这位网友是出于什么想法，反正不要以为回帖者会好心劝你不要干傻事，大家都幸灾乐祸着呢，来看看他们怎么回答吧！

Do a Swan Dive and hope you grow feathers before you hit the bottom.

来个燕式跳（直体向前跳）吧，希望你在掉地上前长出羽毛来。

Many like the Swan Dive. But try the Cannonball for the best effect. Or you can get Fancy and do a Full Gainer with a Half Twist.

很多人喜欢燕式跳，不过建议你试试抱膝跳，那样能达到最好的效果。或者你也可以选择花式跳，来个反身翻腾一周加半转体。

Advertise the event so you will have plenty of witnesses to verify that you are of sane mind. Oh, and do make sure you wear a nice outfit along with clean underwear...we wouldn't want you to be embarrassed.

记得四处去宣传下你要跳楼的事，那样才能有足够的目击者证实你脑子没病。还有务必穿上好看的外套和干净的内衣……我们可不想你感到难为情。

If you're hell bent on doing this, determine first whether you are top or bottom heavy. The laws of gravity state that the heavier end will eventually end up on the bottom. Armed with that knowledge, you can make necessary adjustments to suit your fall. Happy landing!

如果你真的决定要跳楼，那就先看看自己是上身重还是下身重。重力定律告诉我们比较重的那端会先着陆，掌握了这点你就可以做出必要的调整来完成你那一跳了。着陆愉快！

Take a pen and paper with you so you can write about the experience on the way down.

带上笔和纸，那样你能在掉下来的过程中写下自己的体验。

Be sure to check the direction of the wind so you can judge where you will land. Try not to break a window or land on someone's new car...By the way, did you list me as the beneficiary on your insurance policy?

记得先看下风往哪个方向吹，那样你好判断自己会掉在哪儿。尽量不要砸到窗户，或者掉在别人的新车上……话说你有没有在保险单上把我列为受益人呀？

We don't care how you do it, just do it!

我们才不在乎你怎么跳，你去跳就是了！（嗯，这句可以作为总结性发言……）