A reader in Florida, apparentlybruised(擦伤)by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."
This is a prevalentmisconception(误解,错觉)in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "lovebandit(强盗,土匪)" was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving or a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
雅思写作提纲:电脑替代老师?
雅思写作素材:老龄人口问题
雅思G类写作讲解及范文:Complain类
雅思写作参考范文:大学生应自付全部学费吗
雅思写作素材:游业发展(Tourism)
雅思写作素材:动物保护
正确认识词汇量 夯实雅思写作的基础
雅思小作文范文:剑桥雅思6册98页作文
雅思写作参考范文:物种减少的原因
雅思写作参考范文:限制飞机?
雅思小作文中间段经典模板句
雅思G类写作讲解及范文:Enquiry类
雅思小作文范文:剑桥雅思5册29页作文
淡化雅思文章模板痕迹:双边结构写作
雅思写作参考范文:吸烟应当被禁止?
雅思写作素材:先天or后天?
雅思写作素材:老龄人口增加对社会的影响
雅思写作:4方面提升雅思作文质量
雅思写作参考范文:入乡随俗or多元文化
雅思名师写作范文:志愿者服务
雅思写作素材:购物问题
实例解析雅思大作文7分奥秘
雅思写作参考范文:城市问题
雅思写作生活化理论
雅思写作参考范文:出国工作利弊
雅思写作素材:女性领导世界更和平?
4月雅思写作总结及5月预测
20分钟轻松搞定雅思小作文
雅思作文高分的7大原则
雅思写作参考范文:城市教师是否应该“下放”?
不限 |
英语教案 |
英语课件 |
英语试题 |
不限 |
不限 |
上册 |
下册 |
不限 |