保持家庭幸福的真理

无论是什么原因，两夫妻总是吵架总是不好的。那么如何才能健康的经营好婚姻呢？

"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love" - Pearl S. Buck

Look for the good 看到对方好的一面

When you fell in love you only see the good in your partner. You were not selfish. To keep your love alive, accept him for what he is just like when you were infatuated. Love him for what he is instead of thinking only of your needs.Don't over react to his negative behavior and weaknesses. Learn to forgive and get rid of grudges. Allow your partner the freedom to be the way he is completely and unconditionally。

当你沐浴在爱中时，你只能看到对方好的一面。你一点儿也不自私。当你被爱冲昏头脑时，你为了维持爱会接受对方的一切。当一切归于平静，请要爱他原来的样子，而不是你想要对方成为的样子。不要对于对方不好的行为或者弱点有过激的反应。学会体谅和原谅，不要有怨意。给你的另一半自由去完全的做自己。

Communicate 沟通

Talk and listen but avoid nagging. Never let a day pass without discussing and communicating. Share your problems with him and tell him yours. Talk about dreams, goals and love. Don't bring your anger to the next day. Resolve it or forget about it。

沟通倾听，不要碎碎念。不能一天不沟通交流。与对方分享自己的困扰。分享自己的梦想、目标、爱与喜好。不要把气带到第二天。解决你的怒气，或者忘了它。

Let go of psychological dependency and expecting approval 不要过度依赖对方

Any relationship succeeds when there is interdependence. You must take responsibility for yourself. Avoid making your partner the source of your happiness. You are moments away from depression if you depend on your partner's words and actions to live your life。

成功的两性关系是建立在互相依赖上的。你要对自己负责。不要让你的另一半成为你幸福的唯一来源。如果你一切的生活都建立在对方的话或者行为上，那么你就离抑郁不远了。

Avoid trying to be right 不要一味力求自己是对的

When you try to be right you are trying to have control. Your marriage will suffer. You will hurt yourself and your husband. A demanding relationship will not survive for long. Focus instead on what needs improvement and work on it. The best thing to do is work on you。

当你一味追求自己是对的，那么你就是在试图控制对方。你的婚姻会受到影响。你会让自己以及对方受到伤害。一段过于苛刻的婚姻无法长久。更专注在你们之间需要改进的地方，试图有所改变。最好的办法是从自己下手，找到自己的问题在哪儿，改掉不好的地方。

Ask for what you want 告知对方你想要什么，你的感受

Know your feelings. Be honest with what you want. Your partner cannot read your mind. Ask for what you want without using threats and manipulations.Let him know of how you feel. Learn to say "No" to something you don't want to do or give. Obligation can cause problems in your relationship。

知道自己的感受，知道自己要什么。对自己想要的东西诚实。你的另一半不会读心术。告诉对方你要什么，但不要用威胁的方式。告诉对方你的感受和想法。对于你不想要做或者给的东西学会说“不”。所谓的义务会给你们的关系造成问题。

Build trust 互相信任

Trust is an important component. Trust that he loves you and is honest. Don't snoop or spy on him. Avoid feeling doubtful and jealous. When you behave this way, your spouse will feel suffocated. And it shows that you have low self esteem。

信任是非常重要的一个因素。相信对方是真的爱你的，对方也是诚实的。不要暗中监视或者调查对方。避免质疑或者嫉妒的心理。当你一直疑神疑鬼时，你的另一半会感到窒息。而且这样你也就自我贬值了。

Respect 学会尊重

Have self respect and your spouse will treat you right. Listen when he's talking and he will do the same. Don't embarrass him or criticize him in the presence of others and he won't do it to you. If he does, tell him that you don't like it。

有自尊，对方也会尊重你。当对方在说话时，学会倾听。这样但你说话时，对方也会听。不要在其他人面前让他丢脸或者跟他抬杠，这样他也不会这样。如果他这么做了，告诉他你不喜欢这样被对待！

Create space 要有自己的空间

Though you are married, live together and share almost everything, allow for personal space for each one at home and outside. You should have your own group of friends that you don't have to share with him and allow him to do the same。

虽然你们已经结婚了，你们住在一起，几乎分享所有的事物。但是无论在家里还是在外面，仍要给对方也给自己一点私人空间。你要有自己的朋友，这些朋友也许你不必全部与他分享。同样也允许他有自己的朋友。