2017最值得期待的10件事

Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee

伊丽莎白女王登基60年庆典

It’s been, like, nine whole months since Anglophiles had an excuse to get in a tizzy over something terribly British and fusty-sounding. On February 6, Her Majesty celebrates sixty years as the reigning monarch of the British Commonwealth, so get ready for an entire year of wacky memorabilia, talk of the royal corgis, and pictures of Kate Middleton’s impossibly shiny hair.

这样一个带有浓重旧派色彩的地道英式盛事，似乎让亲英人士整整激动了9个月。2月6日，英国女王陛下将庆祝执政英联邦60周年，所以做好准备，2017一整年都会有各种各样的纪念活动，身边的人们会不时谈论皇家柯基犬，凯特王妃和她异常亮丽的秀发也将充斥各大报纸的头条。

The Summer Olympics

伦敦夏季奥运会

Two words: swimmer abs.

期待关键词：游泳运动员的完美腹肌。

Beyoncé

碧昂丝生宝宝

If you thought Mariah Carey had set the new standard of celeb mommy pimpitude, get ready to have your world rocked when Beyoncé’s baby drops. Her daughter (who already owns a $5,000 pink crystal bathtub) will reach new heights of precious magical sparkle princessness, and just speculating about how baller this baby is going to be is already making us cackle with glee. That’s entertainment.

如果你认为玛丽亚·凯莉已刷新了名人妈妈为即将出生的宝宝造势的新标准，碧昂丝女儿的降生准会颠覆你的世界。她女儿（已经拥有了价值5000美元的粉水晶浴缸）将以别具一格的珠光宝气、魅力四射的公主形象示人，光想想这个孩子将会怎样惹人注目，就会让我们禁不起叽叽喳喳地饶舌。那就是娱乐。

The Return of ‘Mad Men’

《广告狂人》的回归

After leaving us without a fix since October of 2010, Mad Men is finally set to return to our televisions sometime in March. Will Don really marry his secretary? Will Joan’s baby be born with Roger’s silver hair? Will someone finally drag Betty to a women’s consciousness-raising group? So many questions!

2010年10月电视连续剧《广告狂人》没有完结就从人们的视野中消失，今年三月《广告狂人》在人们的期盼中将重返荧屏。唐真的会娶他的秘书吗？琼要出生的孩子会有一头罗杰的银发吗？谁最终将贝蒂拉入增强女性自我意识的阵营呢？好多问题在等待答案！

The Inevitable Slew of “Is the World Ending?” News Stories

无休止的“世界末日”资讯报道

You know how when December’s over the year starts over again with January? Yeah, that’s sort of how the Mayan calendar works, too. After one cycle, it repeats, which is what happens after the current cycle finishes up this year. It’s just that simple. But that won’t stop intrepid reporters from filing ludicrous stories that examine the possibility of Earth combusting in a ball of flames. We encourage you to treat these as humor pieces and laugh accordingly.

旧年结束于12月，新的一年从1月重新开始，你知道为什么是这样的吗？这也是玛雅历法的计算方式。一个轮回之后再重新开始，今年结束，又是来年。其实再简单不过。但是却不能阻止勇于进取的记者们收集调查地球成为火球的可能性，写出荒唐的资讯故事来。我们奉劝你别把这些当真，一笑置之。

No More Removing Your Shoes at the Airport

机场安检不用脱鞋

Well, OK, not quite yet, but it’s happening soon. The TSA has already relaxed the shoe-removal rule for children under twelve (along with promising not to frisk and violate so many babies and elderly grandmothers in general). That’s the first step toward the rest of us being allowed to walk through the body scanner without catching athlete’s foot. Hooray!

好吧，现在还没有实现，不过曙光在前头。美国运输安全管理局已放松对12岁以下儿童脱鞋安检的制度（一般来说，许多孩子和祖母级旅客可能不再被骚扰）。赤足通过人体扫描器，可能感染足癣，这次制度松动也给我们这些可怜人带来了希望。万岁！