不要再对单身人士说这些话了

Stop saying this to single people

不要再对单身人士说这些话了

"How are you still single?"

“你怎么还是单身啊？”

This question is often meant as a compliment when you can't understand why your attractive, smart, and funny friend hasn't found someone yet. But it also implies that no normal person should still be single after all this time. And it forces single people to justify why they are not in relationships.

当你十分不理解你那风趣、聪慧、有魅力的朋友为何还没找到另一半时，这通常是一句恭维话。但这也意味着，正常人不应该一直单着。同时，这会迫使单身人士为他们不谈恋爱的行为做出辩解。

"You're too picky."

“你太挑了。”

This backward message implies that single people should ignore their standards just for the sake of being in a relationship. It's better to be picky than to settle. And there is nothing wrong with having high standards when it comes to finding a partner. So don't tell single people otherwise.

从反向角度而言，这句话意味着：为了谈恋爱，单身人士应该忽略自己的求偶标准。挑剔总好过将就。而且，以高标准寻找另一半又何错之有呢？所以，不要再对单身人士说这句话了。

"Are you dating anyone?"

“你在约会吗？”

This question is irritating to single people, especially if you haven't seen them in a while. If they are dating someone worth mentioning, they will tell you. Otherwise, they don't want to talk about their relationship status or lack of a relationship. So ask them how they are doing instead.

对单身人士而言，这个问题令人恼火，尤其是在你很长时间未见到他/她的情况下。如果有值得一提的约会对象，他们会告诉你的。如若不然，则意味着他们不想谈论自己的感情状态。所以，不如问问他们近况如何吧。

"I know someone who is also single. Want me to set you up?"

“我也有单身的朋友，要不要给你们牵线搭桥？”

Only set up single people on dates if they ask you to, and only with people who will be a good match. If being single is the only thing they have in common, then don't bother. Otherwise, offering to set up someone means you assume they want to be set up, which is not always the case. When talking to single people, don't treat them like they need to be saved from their single life.

只有当单身人士请你当红娘的时候，你才应该给他们安排，而且应安排对方看得上的人。如果单身是他们的唯一共同点，那就别操心了。否则，主动给某人牵线意味着你觉得他俩很配，但通常情况下，事实并非如此。和单身人士聊天时，不要一厢情愿地认为，他们需要你将其从单身生活中解救出来。

"There's plenty of fish in the sea."

“天涯何处无芳草。”

This cliché is very popular when it comes to giving "advice" to singles. Even if there are many eligible people your single friend could date, maybe they are having trouble meeting someone they connect with right now. So this saying is not helpful.

一谈到给单身人士提“建议”，人们通常都会将这句陈词滥调挂在嘴边。即便有很多符合条件的人值得你的这位单身朋友相约，但也许他/她现在有约会对象，只不过遇到问题了呢？所以，这句话并没有多大作用。

"Don't worry, you'll find the right person eventually."

“别担心，你会找到那个人的。”

Maybe they will find the right person and maybe they won't. But when people say this to singles, they assume singles are stressed about being single. While it may be the truth for some, it isn't for all.

也许他们会找到那个人，也许不会。但当你对单身人士说这句话时，你潜意识地认为他/她因为找不到对象而倍感压力。虽然有些人的确为此感到焦虑，但也不能以偏概全啊！