情感话题:考研后的爱情

When graduate school entrance exam scores are released every year at this time, many romantic relationships take a hit. Lovers considering different locales for work or study must make some tough choices – beginning with whether or not to break up.

每年这个时候正是考研分数公布之时，许多恋情都因此经受着打击。对于恋人们而言，异地工作或学习可能会迫使他们做出艰难抉择，最先面对的就是分不分手的问题。

The moment that Fang Yunxia, a 22-year-old English major from a university in Nanchang, learned that she had been awarded a second interview at Peking University, she shed tears of joy. While she was imagining new life on her future campus, a congratulations call from her boyfriend pulled her back to reality: She was in a committed relationship with someone who is unlikely to follow her to Beijing.

22岁的方云霞是南昌某高校英语系的学生，当得知自己进入北大第二轮面试时，她留下了高兴的眼泪。当她还沉浸在崭新校园生活的遐想之中时，男朋友打来的祝贺电话将她拉回到现实：她和男朋友的感情十分真挚，但他可能不会追随她去北京。

So she sent him a message that read, simply: “We need to talk.”

于是她给他发了一条信息，聊聊几个字：“我们需要谈谈。”

Although the two did not break up right away, they knew their two-year relationship had come to an end. “We are still seeing each other, but things have changed. We don’t talk about the future,” said Fang. “And we sigh a lot.”

尽管没有立刻分手，但他们清楚这段两年的恋情已经走到了尽头。方云霞说：“我们仍然会见面，但是一切都变了。我们不再谈论未来，只是一声声叹息。”

　 Hang in there - or not　坚持或放弃

According to Yuan Ruiyin, a Taiyuan-based campus relationship consultant, students facing the possibility of a long-distance relationship should show more perseverance and commitment.

太原的校园情感咨询师苑瑞吟表示，那些面临异地恋情困扰的学生应当更加坚定不移，信奉真爱。

　“If one is going to live in another place, the other should go with him or her if the relationship is serious,” said Yuan. “To give up when thinking of a coming difficulty is immature.”

苑瑞吟说：“如果恋人要去异地生活且他们之间感情真挚，那么另一半应该追随着他（她）。面临困难就轻言放弃，这是不成熟的做法。”

Yuan does note, however, that if one person suddenly has a change of heart it’s likely the relationship will never survive a crisis.

　 但苑瑞吟也特意提到，如果一个人突然变了心，那么很有可能这段感情无法渡过危机。

Yang Mou, a 21-year-old management major at Wuhan University of Science and Technology, applied for the same Shanghai graduate school as his girlfriend. But the results were cruel: She got in; he didn’t.

　 21岁的杨牟就读于武汉科技大学管理专业，考研时，他和女朋友报考了同一所学校。但结果是残酷的：女朋友考上了，而他自己却没有。

Although they spent more than six months studying together in the same classroom and grew their relationship during “the most difficult of times”, their ties began to fall apart with the news. Yang noticed that his girlfriend was changing. When they argued, she refused to back down. He says she talked in a cocky manner and began telling him, “I think I deserve better.”

尽管这六个多月的时间里，他们在同一间教室里上自习；尽管这段最艰难的日子里，他们恋情也与日俱增，但当得知这一消息时，他们之间的情感开始崩塌。杨牟意识到自己的女朋友变了。他们吵架时，她决不让步。他表示她说话时姿态高傲，并开始对他说:“我认为我理应过得好一点。”

Recently, she told him she was ready for a new chapter in her life. “I was hurt,” said Yang. “How can one exam change so much?” In his girlfriend’s eyes, Yang says, she is the successful one and he’s a “loser”.

最近，她向他表示自己已准备好展开人生的新篇章。杨牟说：“我很伤心，一个考试怎么会改变这么多事情？”他还表示，他女朋友内心认为自己是成功者，而他是个“失败者”。　

Follow your heart 追随真心

Liu Qiang, of the Henan University student affairs office, says that a change in career or study can be a major threat to any relationship.

来自河南大学学生处的刘强（音译）表示，对于所有恋人来说，学业或工作上的转变都会对他们的情感构成很大的威胁。

“When one partner is looking toward a new horizon, there will be conflict if the other puts their attention elsewhere,” says Liu. “This is a common problem – especially when the relationship is not mature.”

刘强说：“当一方向往新世界时，如果另一半心有旁骛，那么矛盾就会产生。这是一个普遍存在的问题，尤其当这段感情还未成熟的时候。”

Yang says he cannot forgive his girlfriend for what she has done to him, but, according to Liu, he should go a little easier on his ex.

杨牟说，对于女朋友对自己所做的一切，他无法释怀。但刘强却表示，杨牟应该对前女友宽容一些。

“Graduation can be hard – it’s not a sin for someone to think about him or herself a bit more,” says Liu. He recommends that all student couples to bear one thing in mind: “Love is never a matter of calculation; sometimes following your instincts will lead you to the right answer.”

刘强说：“毕业过程是艰难的；一些人可能会稍有私心，但这也并非十恶不赦。”另外，他也奉劝学生情侣们要切记：“爱情并不是一道算术题；有时追随直觉，你会得到正确答案的。”