恋爱中自私的表现

1. You expect your partner to listen to you vent but you don't offer the same in return.

1. 你希望另一半听你发牢骚，但却不能相同以报。

One of the best reasons to be in an intimate relationship is that we have someone to tell our troubles to, who will take our side when the world feels harsh. That feeling of being understood and accepted is what intimacy is about. If you become immediately bored, or act like your partner is a drag when he or she starts to tell you about their bad day, it's like slamming an emotional door in their face. Even if your partner doesn't protest, it's still a recipe for loneliness in a relationship.

为什么要谈一段亲密恋情？原因之一就是：当我们遇到麻烦时会有人倾听，当世界"虐"我百遍时，会有人站在我身边。如果当另一半开始谈起他/她这一天的不顺而你却立即表现出兴致缺缺，或觉得他/她很扫兴时，这无异于你当着他/她的面'砰'地一声关上感情之门。即使你的另一半并未因此抗议，这依然会导致你们相恋却孤寂。

2. You give your partner the silent treatment instead of tackling difficult conversations in a mature way.

2. 争吵时，你沉默不语，而非以一种成熟的方式解决问题。

It is self-centered to not make an attempt to communicate when you are hurt or angry at your partner. Tough conversations often come up in a romantic relationship. You put your partner through a lot of distress when you refuse to talk.

当你被另一半所伤，或非常生他/她气时，不主动沟通是一种自我的表现。谈恋爱难免会有争吵，若拒绝沟通，另一半会非常伤心。

3. You insist that your perspective is the correct one - on everything.

3. 在任何方面，你都坚持认为你的观点是对的。

This is a definite red flag indicating a strong degree of selfishness. If you find yourself always giving weight to only your own point of view, you are setting your relationship up to fail. What you are really saying to your partner is that you are really only in this relationship to get your own needs meet, with little or no consideration for the needs of your partner. If that's the case, you really aren't a partner at all.

这绝对是强烈自私欲的一种表现。如果你总是强调自己的观点，那你的恋情必定失败。因为你向另一半表达出的意思是：你谈这段感情的目的只是为了满足自己的需要，几乎或完全不考虑另一半的需要。若果真如此，那你根本不适合谈恋爱。

4. When you don't get your way, you threaten to end the relationship - even if you don't mean it.

4. 如果事情不如你意，你就会威胁另一半分手--即使你的本意并非如此。

Even in the very best of relationships, none of us is always going to get what we need. If you spend your time threatening to leave your partner, how can they ever grow to trust that it isn't always going to be about you and your needs? Someone who genuinely loves their partner is going to be mature enough and have enough self-awareness to know that it is extremely hurtful to threaten to abandon someone we love just because we don't get our way.

即便在最完美的感情关系中，也没有人总是得到自己想要的。如果你威胁另一半要离开他/她，他们怎么才能相信你，是不是又是因为未能满足你的需求才唱了这场分手戏？真正爱另一半的人会足够成熟、足够自知：只是因为事情不如所愿而威胁另一半分手，是非常伤人的！