致情人配偶的一封信

'Why won't you give him the love he needs?': the letter you always wanted to write

'为什么你没有给他他所需要的爱？'：你一直都想写的那封信

I know you exist, you share his name, his child, his home and his public life. I share stolen moments which might just as well not exist. I share his thoughts, his dreams and his feelings; all that's inside him, but nothing that's part of external life.

我知道你，你冠他之名，有他的小孩，和他住在一起，共同出现在大众的视线中。而我和他在一起的时刻却总是偷偷摸摸的，甚至可能都不存在相处的时刻。我了解他的想法、梦想和情感；我分享他的内在，却无法分享他外在的生活。

You have a marriage of more than 20 years, which encompasses a few public and family activities; sharing the home you run, the child you both love from the bottom of your hearts. But your love for him dried up many years ago.

你们已结婚20多年，参加过一些公共的家庭活动；分享你管理住宅的经验，谈谈你们深爱的宝宝。但你对他的爱却在多年前干涸了。

You are happy in the life you have carved out for yourself, but is he happy in a marriage in which you fulfil your selected responsibilities of a wife, but none of love? Do you love him? If he were loved, would he have been actively seeking me? I don't blame you - you stopped loving him. But why stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of appearances?

你满足自己创造的生活，但在这段履行了妻子的既定责任但却没有爱的婚姻中，他幸福吗？你爱他吗？如果他是被爱的，他又为何会找到我呢？我不怪你--你只是不再爱他了。但为什么要为了表面的光鲜而在这段无爱的婚姻中苟延残喘呢？

I ended it today because I got tired of not existing. He doesn't want to hurt his child, and we kept trying to figure how we could work this out without doing so. It pained me to think I could bring his life crumbling down. I saw no way to go on. Nor did he; his child's hurt was unbearable to him - his own and mine bearable in comparison.

今天我们结束了，因为我厌倦了这种'不存在'的感觉。他不想伤害他的孩子，我们也一直在想办法做到这一点。一想到我可能会让他的生活分崩离析，我就感到痛苦。我再也无法继续下去了。他亦是如此；孩子受到伤害是他所无法忍受的--相较之下，我和他受伤更易忍受。

Why won't you give him the love he needs? Why won't you give him the companionship and care that comes of loving someone, and not just the daily endeavours required of a successful marriage?

为什么你没有给他他所需要的爱？为什么不是因为爱他而给他陪伴和关怀，他需要的不止是一段成功婚姻所需的每日陪伴和关怀。

I am not asking you to set him free, just that you understand and love him - and let him understand and love you. Make yours a marriage more than in name only. After all, you must have once had a real marriage? I have no right to say anything, and I know only one side of the story. But the man I know would have chosen you had you given him an iota of the love he seeks.

我并非要求你放他自由，只愿你能理解他、爱他--让他也理解你、爱你。不要让你们的婚姻名存实亡。毕竟，这段婚姻也一度是真挚的。我没有权利说些什么，我也只是知晓他这一面的故事，但这个男人当初是因为你给了他爱的誓言才选择你的呀！