为什么要和某人分手,即使你很爱他/她?

Deciding to break up with someone is rarely easy. It's made even harder when you are breaking up with someone you love. No matter what your friends or family tell you, ending it with a significant other only comes when you realize that this person is more of a negative than a positive in your life.

决定分手并不容易。与相爱之人分手更为困难。无论你的朋友或家人是怎么跟你说的，你只应在这种情况下与另一半结束这段感情：当你意识到他在你生活中扮演的负面角色大于正面角色时。

Looking at the big picture and how your partner impacts you can allow you to make a wise and thought out decision. While it may be hard to see at the time, there are quite a few reasons to break up with someone even if you love them.

纵观大局，想象另一半对你的影响会让你做出明智而深思熟虑的决定。虽然当时可能难以看清，但即使你很爱他/她，这些理由却足以让你离开他/她。

1. You can't trust them.

1. 你无法相信他/她。

No matter how much you love someone, you need to be able to trust them. Trust is absolutely paramount in a relationship. According to a study from Northwestern University and Redeemer University College in Ontario, Canada, those who have trust their partners are more likely to be in long-term and successful relationships, proving just how important that trust is.

无论你多么爱一个人，你都应该能够相信他/她。谈恋爱时信任很重要。美国西北大学和加拿大安大略省的救世主大学开展的一项研究表明：信任另一半的人的恋情更有可能长久、成功，这也证明了信任的重要性。

2. They are emotionally manipulative.

2. 他们在情感上喜欢操纵。

From telling you that every argument is your fault to acting as if they can't live without you, an emotionally manipulative partner brings down your self-worth and leaves you relying on them.

从告诉你每一次争吵都是你的错到表现得他们离开你就活不下去，情感上喜欢操纵别人的另一半会降低你的自我价值，让你变得依赖他们。

"Healthy social influence occurs between most people, and is part of the give and take of constructive relationships," Preston Ni, wrote in Psychology Today. "In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power and exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda."

"健康社会影响发生在大多数人身上，是建设性恋情给予与索取的一部分，"Preston Ni在《今日心理学》中写道。"在心理操纵中，为了自己的利益，他/她会利用另一半。操纵者故意造成权利失衡的假象，剥削受害者为他/她做事。"

3. They isolate you from your friends.

3. 他们不让你见自己的朋友。

Does your significant other get mad when you choose to hang out with your friends and not them? Do they speak negatively of others in your life? This tactic leaves you isolated from other support in your life and makes you rely more heavily on them, which can be a sign things are toxic.

当你选择和朋友而非另一半出去玩的时候，他/她会不会抓狂？他们会不会说你熟人的坏话？这一策略让你远离生活中其他人的支持，让你更依赖他们，这也是事情变质的一个迹象。

4. The distance is too much.

4. 你们相距甚远。

While, despite what you might have heard, long distance can work, that doesn't mean it's easy and it's certainly not for everyone.

虽然你可能听别人说异地恋是可以有结果的，但这并不意味着异地恋很容易维系，而且并不是所有人都适合异地恋。