如何在孩子们失控的情况下保持镇定

Tantrums are the worst, am I right?

发脾气是最糟糕的事了，对吗？

I've been parenting for over four years now and I still don't really know how to react to them most of the time. Seriously, right now my go-to responses to my toddler losing her shit is either joining her in the theatrics, stomping around or raising my voice, or completely freezing up and giving in to whatever it is she wants just to make it stop.

至今为止，我已当了4年的家长，但大多数时间里我还是不知道该如何对他们做出反应。说真的，我的孩子刚学会走路，现在只要她失控，我的反应要么就是和她一起演戏，到处跺脚、要么就是提高嗓门或者就是完全不理她，她想要什么就妥协，只要她不再大叫。

Are you taking notes? Because I've obviously got this parenting thing mastered.

你在记笔记吗？因为很显然我对于养孩子这件事很有把握。

Seriously though, it is becoming pretty obvious this time around that the old tricks I used with my first isn't going to work with my 2-year-old. I need some new strategies if she and I are going to get past this phase with our dignities intact. I've done my fair share of Googling and consulting parenting books lately, but nothing has really felt like the right fit for our home. Then I read about parents using mindfulness to keep from losing their temper and decided I was just desperate enough to give it a try.

但说真的，刚开始的时候我有一些哄小孩的招数，但现在这些招数对我们家两岁的孩子来说已经不管用了，这一点越来越为明显。如果我们想要完好无损的度过这一阶段我就得想想新的法子。我已经谷歌过，最近也看了与育儿相关的书籍，但总感觉找不到适合我们家情况的妙招。之后我读到了一本书，讲的是父母要留意自己不乱发脾气，当时我已经很绝望了，于是决定放手一搏。

The idea behind mindfulness is when you become more aware of how you are feeling and how those emotions are presenting themselves in your body, you can slow down and find a healthy way to respond to those emotions. In general, getting angry with a toddler who is out of control isn't unhealthy, it's pretty normal, but when you lose control too, that's when your anger becomes a problem.

留神这一概念就是说你越是了解自己的感受以及这些情感是如何表现在体内，你就越能放缓下来，找到健康的方式去应对这些情感。总的来说，与一个失控的小孩子生气是不健康的，这很正常，但当你也失控的时候，你的愤怒就成了个问题。

"Moms need a variety of emotional tools to help themselves with their toddlers," encouraged Dr. Celia Trotta, board-certified psychiatrist and advocate for gentle parenting practices. She offered simple steps to using meditation to control yourself during the heat of a major toddler tantrum.

“母亲们需要各种各样的情感工具来帮助自己面对自己的小孩，”西莉亚·特洛塔医生鼓励道，她是通过认证的精神病专家，提倡用温和的方式抚养孩子。她建议了一些简单的步骤，可以在孩子失控时通过冥想来控制自己。

First, she suggested parents take a moment to become aware of their emotional state. This means taking note of and naming your feelings, whether that be anger, sadness or frustration and paying close attention to how those emotions display themselves in your body. Are you clenching your fists or is your heart racing?

首先，她建议父母们花点时间了解自己的情感状态。这就是说要记录下、说出自己的感受，不管是愤怒、悲伤或沮丧，然后密切关注这些情感是如何在通过身体表现出来的。你是不是在紧握拳头呢？你的心脏是不是剧烈跳动呢？