当服务员总能听到一些猛料

服务员，看似一个很普通的职业，却往往能有意想不到的“收获”。

When I was a server in high school I accidentally walked apron-first into a full-fledged breakup with nothing but a pitcher of water and a friendly, naive smile. There was crying. There was cursing. Napkins were thrown in faces. I backed away and hid in the bathroom for an hour.

我上高中的时候，曾当过服务员，那时候我不小心撞见一场正式的分手戏码，而我只是给他们上了一壶水，并投之以友好又天真的微笑。当时，哭泣、咒骂以及把餐巾纸扔到脸上的戏码一起上演。我慢慢地退了回去，然后在洗手间里躲了1个小时。

At the time, I had thought this was the most awkward moment that a server could ever invade. Then, I read this recent Reddit thread. Now I know how much worse it could have been. Why don't people have these conversations at home?

当时我觉得这可能是一名服务员经历过的最尴尬的瞬间了。然后，我看到了Reddit(一家资讯网站)最近发表的一个话题。现在我知道(服务员会经历)多么糟糕的情况了。人们为什么不在家里谈论这些话题呢?

Here are some of the high (low?) lights.

这里有一些高能(尴尬?)的瞬间。

The "Sorry, I'm in love with your sister"

“对不起，我爱上了你的姐妹。”

The "Everything is really, really bad"

“一切都非常、非常糟糕。”

The "Just to let you know, I had an affair during the Second World War"

“只是想让你知道，在二战期间，我曾有过外遇。”

The "Mom and dad... I'm gay"

“妈妈，爸爸……我是同性恋。”

The "I probably shouldn't have shown you that video..."

“我可能不该给你看那个视频……”

The "Please pay your child support... please?!"

“请支付子女抚养费……行吗?!”

The "Hey I'm pregnant," and "Is this your wife or one of your many girlfriends?"

“嗨，我怀孕了，”以及“这是你的妻子还是你众多女友之一?”

The "Sorry I ruined your proposal, buddy"

“兄弟，对不起我毁了你的求婚。”

The "Hey, I know you from the strip club! Wait, is this your dad?"

“嗨，我知道你是脱衣舞俱乐部的!等等，这是你爸爸吗?”

The "Whoops, we aren't virgins anymore and I don't know why we are telling you this"

“哎呀!我们不再是处女了，我不知道我们为什么会告诉你这些。”

在外就餐时，说话可要注意分寸哦。