双语阅读之如何建立自信

How many times have you hesitated or kept quiet when you knew the answer to a question? Then how did it feel when somebody else answered with the right answer and received praise?

有多少次当你知道一个问题的答案时，你却选择犹豫或者保持沉默?当别人回答正确并收到赞扬时你又是什么感受呢?

It's not unusual for teens to avoid answering questions in front of others because they're too shy or too afraid of being wrong.Sometimes a lack of self-confidence stems merely from a lack of experience. You may not feel so confident about answering questions out loud or acting in a stage play if you've never done it before. These feelings will change as you grow and experience more things in your life.

这种现象在青少年中较为常见，因为他们太害羞或害怕犯错。有时缺乏自信仅仅因为缺乏经验。如果你从来没有做过类似的事，就会在在大声回答问题或上台表演时感到不够自信。随着你成长并在生活中经历更多的事情，这些感觉将会改变。

Identify the Cause for Your Lack of Self-Confidence 确定你缺乏自信的原因

If you have a fear that people will see your perceived shortcoming, you will find it difficult to assert yourself. Your shortcoming or vulnerability may have to do with your looks, your size, your perceived intelligence, your past, or your family experience.

如果你担心人们会看到你的缺点，你会发现很难表达自己。你的缺点或弱点可能与你的外在形象、你的身高、你的感知能力、你的过去、或者你的家庭经历有关。

In building self-confidence, your first goal is to develop a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll have to take a difficult first step and look inside yourself to discover where and why you feel vulnerable.

建立自信的过程中，你的第一个目标是对自己的优点和缺点有一个实际的了解。你需要开始艰难的第一步：深入地审视自己，看看你在什么场合会感到脆弱，为什么有这样的感受。

Face Your Fear Head-On 直接面对恐惧

To get started on your self-exploration, go to a quiet and comfortable place and think about the things that make you feel bad about yourself. These things could stem from your complexion, weight, a bad habit, a family secret, abusive behavior in your family, or a feeling of guilt over something you’ve done. It can be painful to think about the root of your bad feelings, but it is healthy to root out something that is hidden deep inside and to work through it.

首先，从自我探索开始，去一个安静舒适的地方，想想让自己感觉不舒适的事情。这些情景可能源于你的肤色、体重、一个不良习惯、一个家庭秘密、家庭虐待行为、或者因为你曾经做的事而内疚的感觉。思考不良感受的根源可能是痛苦的，但是发觉一些隐藏较深的原因并解决它是健康的方式。

Once you have identified the things you feel bad or secretive about, you’ll need to determine what you can do to change them. Should you change your eating habits? Exercise? Read a self-help book? Any action you take—even the act of thinking about your problem—is a step toward getting it out in the open and eventually healing.

一旦你已经确定了让你感觉不好或者私密的事情，下一步需要确定可以做什么来改变现状。你应该改变你的饮食习惯吗?运动吗?读了一本关于自助的书籍?任何你采取的行动，甚至是你把思考问题的行为，都是一步探索最终解决问题的步骤。

Once you have a full understanding of your problem, you will find that your fear decreases. When the fear goes away, the hesitation goes away and you can and will start asserting yourself more.

一旦你对问题有了一个全面了解，你会发现恐惧越来越少。当恐惧和犹豫消失时，你可以开始进一步地了解自己。

Celebrate Your Strengths 肯定你的长处

It's not enough to identify your weaknesses or your problem areas. You also have great aspects about yourself that you need to explore! You can start doing this by making a big list of things you have accomplished and the things you do well.

认识你的弱点或问题并不足够。你自己有很多的优点，同样需要探索!你可以从写下你已经完成的事和你擅长的事开始来发现自己的优点。

You were born with some natural talent, whether you have discovered it or not. Do you always make people laugh? Are you artistic? Can you organize things? Do you navigate well?

你是有一些先天的天赋，你是否发现了这些优点?你总是让人开怀大笑吗?你有艺术情怀么?你善于组织事物吗?你方向感好吗?

All of these traits are things that can become very valuable as you get older. They are skills that are absolutely essential in community organizations,in college, and on the job. If you can do any of them well, you have traits to cherish!

所有的这些特征在你成长的过程中都会变得非常有价值。这些技能在团队组织、在大学、在工作中都是非常必要的。如果你可以将这其中的任何事情做好，你要珍惜这些技能!

Once you have taken the two steps above, identifying your vulnerability and identifying your greatness, you will start feeling an increase in your confidence. You decrease your anxiety by facing your fears, and you start liking yourself better by celebrating your natural strengths.

一旦你采取了上述两个步骤，认识到自己的缺点和优点，你会感觉到你的自信有所增加。通过直面你的恐惧，你的焦虑会减少，因为了解自己的优点越多你会更喜欢自己。

Change Your Behavior 改变你的行为

Behavioral psychologists say that we can change our feelings by changing our behavior. For instance, some studies have shown that we become happier if we walk around with a smile on our faces.You can speed up your path to increased self-confidence by changing your behavior.

行为心理学家说，我们可以改变行为来改变感受。例如，一些研究已经表明，如果面带微笑散步，我们便会更加开心。你可以通过改变你的行为来加速自信心的增加。

Try smiling more. This will help you fight off feelings of negativity.Compliment others on their strengths. You’ll find that other people will return the favor and compliment you back.Exercise and get enough sleep. Both of these behavioral traits improve our moods. You’ll feel better inside and outside and look better too!Take time every night to plan for the next day. By planning ahead we avoid mistakes that make us feel bad about ourselves.

试着更多地微笑。这将帮助你战胜消极的感觉。称赞别人的长处，你会发现别人同样会给你支持和赞美。积极锻炼并保证足够的睡眠。这两种习惯都能改善我们的情绪。你会感到自己的身心都更为健康!每天晚上花一些时间为第二天做计划。我们可以通过提前计划来避免触犯会使自己产生不良情绪的错误。

Use a Third Person Approach 借鉴他人的方法

There is an interesting study that shows that there may be a trick to meeting our behavioral goals more quickly. Think about yourself in the third person as you evaluate your progress.

一项有趣的研究表明：可能存在一些技巧可以更快地实现我们的行为目标。用第三人的视角来评价你的进步。

The study measured the progress in two groups of people who were attempting to make a positive change in their lives. The people who participated in this study were divided into two groups. One group was encouraged to think in the first person. The second group was encouraged to think of their progress from an outsider’s point of view.

这项研究记录了两组人的进展，被记录者试图在他们的生活中做出积极的改变。参与这项研究的人被分成两组，一组是参与者采用自身鼓励。第二组参与者是从其他人的视角来鼓励。

Interestingly, the participants who thought about themselves from an outsider’s perspective enjoyed a faster path to improvement.

有趣的是，参与者从他人的角度思考自己时，会取得有更快的进步。

As you go through the process of improving your self-image and increasing your self-confidence, try to think of yourself as a separate person. Picture yourself as a stranger who is on a path toward positive change. Be sure to celebrate this person’s accomplishments!

当你经历过改善自我形象和增加自信心的过程时，尝试认为自己是一个独立的人。将自己想象为一个正在向积极方面的改变的陌生人。切记一定要在自己有所进步时为自己庆祝!