学会说不 设定界限后你的生活发生这10件大事

It's not selfish to prioritize yourself.

优先考虑自己并不自私。

You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people.

你不可能成为万物，或者说你不可能为所有人做一切事情。

A life without limits means rarely saying “no” and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right. They disregard how much work or effort you can handle on a regular basis.

没有界限的人生意味着极少说“不”，而且在考虑自己的感受之前总是先考虑别人的感受。这些取悦别人的习惯不仅会使人完全筋疲力尽，它们还会直接把你推向疲惫不堪，而且是危害自身健康的一个主要因素。它们通常忽视你能处理多少工作。

That’s where boundaries come into play, according to researcher and public speaker Brené Brown. In a video posted on the subject last month that’s continuing to go viral online, Brown explains how establishing your own personal fences can do wonders for your wellbeing.

那就是界限发挥作用的地方，研究员兼发言人Brené Brown如是说。关于这个主题的一个视频在上个月被发布，而且继续在网上像病毒一般扩散开来。Brown在视频中说明了怎样设立自己的围栏才能为自己的幸福创造奇迹。

“I’d rather be loving and generous but very straightforward with what’s okay and what’s not okay,” she said.“

我更喜欢细心周到又慷慨大方，但是会坦率地表明什么可以，什么不可以，”她说道。

In other words, boundaries aren’t a way to keep people out. They make life as enjoyable as possible for you and for your loved ones as a result.

换句话说，界限不是阻挡人们的一种方式，而是使你和你所爱之人可以尽可能地享受生活中的乐趣。

We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program, on the life-changing power of establishing a clear-cut view of what you’re willing to tolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:

界限专家Chad Buck是范德堡大学员工工作/生活援助计划中的一位临床心理学家。我们向他咨询了有关为愿意忍受的事物设定一个明确界限对人生变化的影响力。以下是在你学着设定自己的界限时会发生的几件大事：

1. You’re more self-aware.

1、你会更有自知之明。

2. You become a better friend and partner.

2、你会成为一个更好的朋友和伙伴。

3. You take better care of yourself.

3、你会更好地照顾自己。

4. You’re less stressed.

4、你会感觉压力有所减少。

5. You’re a better communicator.

5、你会是一位更好的通信员。

6. You start trusting people more.

6、你开始更加信任别人。

7. You’re less angry.

7、你生气的次数少了。

8. You learn how to say “no.”

8、你学会如何说“不”。

9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.

9、你终于做了你真正想做的事。

10. You become a more understanding person.

10、你成为一个更加体谅别人的人。