让陌生人为我做选择I am no decider

生活中选择太多，让我不知所措。于是我想出了一个好办法：让别人来帮我作选择。选炸面圈，挑衣服，……诸如此类的事情我都交给了陌生人去做。也许最后选出的东西并不是我想要的，但至少我不用再大伤脑筋唯恐选错了。

These days, there are so many choices to labor through, from the most basic, such as paper or plastic at the grocery checkout counter, to the nearly suicide-inducing, such as the friends-and-family plan or unlimited texting.[1]

In these tough times, the abundance of life-changing decisions—finances, health care, career moves—can be overwhelming.[2] But don’t take it from me. Ask the guy who wrote the book The Psychology of Judgment and Decision Making. That would be Scott Plous, a psychology professor at Wesleyan University. “There’s no question that we have more choices than ever before,” Plous agreed. “And decisions are generally harder and more time-consuming when there are lots of alternatives.”[3]

Even Steve Jobs, whose technology allows us the misery of 18,000 music selections in our pockets, has to counteract so many choices by wearing the same outfit—blue jeans, black turtleneck, New Balance sneakers—every single day of his life.[4] With every move you make, you’re bombarded with predicaments from the banal to the extraordinary,[5] and you obviously can’t trust yourself to make the right decisions anymore—look where that’s gotten you.

I know I’m not alone in this. We’re all feeling a little needy[6]. Whom can we turn to? Friends and family always have their own agendas; therapists are useless. So, who’s left?

Strangers, of course. They’re everywhere.

“Excuse me,” I said to the woman behind me one morning in the queue at Dunkin’ Donuts[7]. “I’m currently asking strangers to make all my decisions. Would you mind picking out a dozen doughnuts[8] for me?”

“I’ll order two, but then you’re on your own,” she said.

“Never mind.”

Everyone knows the first two doughnuts are the easy ones.

“I’ll do it, but you’ll have to tell me what you like,” a gangly woman who had overheard theprevious exchange said.[9]

“Thanks, but that kind of defeats my purpose,” I responded. “As long as you’re paying,” a thick-armed guy shrugged[10] at me just as it was his turn to order.

He attacked the chore with glee.[11] His choices were a blur of glaze and frosting.[12] He stopped only once, looked back at me and said, “Sprinkles, two sprinkles,” and they fell into the box with the majesty of a fireworks grand finale.[13]

It was a win-win, a successful random act of indecision[14] (RAI). And I was striking a blow for[15] science. “Your experiment will reveal how much pleasure in a dessert[16] comes from it simply being a dessert, rather than a dessert that you would have chosen,” Plous had observed. “In many cases, the difference in benefit between two choices is smaller than we’d guess.”

This may be the best idea I’ve ever had. For two weeks, I relinquished[17] control over my decisions. I turned the reins over[18] to perfect strangers.

At a Starbucks, I was perspiring heavily from a bike ride when I started to ask the woman beside me what I wanted to drink.[19] She cut me off midway through my spiel about how I was conducting a social experiment and whatnot.[20]

“Just have a water,” she said, snatching a bottle from the front case and thrusting it at me.[21]

She herself ordered something that took the barista[22] 11 moves to make, but I was suddenly a model of simplicity: a sweaty man drinking cold water.

Moments later, I asked a man at the newsstand if I should become a night shaver instead of a morning shaver.[23] I always wanted to be a night shaver—go to bed cleanly shaven and wake up with sexy stubble that would be alluring until at least noon and...[24]

“Absolutely not,” the gentleman said.

I’m sure he’s right.

Later in the day, when I asked a sandy-haired woman at Old Navy to pick out a shirt for me,[25] she quickly devoted herself to the cause.

“I want you to have a crisper, cleaner look,” she exclaimed.[26]

I was still feeling crisp and clean when I stopped at the library. The mission: to give a stranger the chore of selecting a book for me to read.

“You sure? Picking out a book... that’s kind of an intimate decision,” the chosen one said. She was sitting at a tiny table with a little boy and looking up at me as if I were one more irritation[27] in an already long day. But once I said I was positive, she popped up as if she’d just adopted me.[28]

“Follow me,” she said. With the little boy in hand, she cut across the library with the supermarket stride of a mom who just realized she’d forgotten the Fruit Roll-Ups two aisles back.[29] We were headed deep into the bowels[30]—past the self-helps, beyond the reference books, even. Then she stopped, pivoted[31], dropped a 4-pound book in my hands and said,

“Here.”

I thanked her profusely[32], but I’m not sure it even registered. She just mentally checked me off[33] her list and was on her way. The whole encounter—in fact, the entire day—was astonishing. By dusk, my new life’s course had been set by an entire team of people whose names I didn’t even know.

I was almost giddy[34].

When I told a friend about my experiment and how much I was getting accomplished, she posed an interesting question: “What if you can’t stop?”

In fact, the question was so good that I’ve decided there is no good reason to shut down this adventure after just two weeks. Random Acts of Indecision is not a social experiment. It’s a lifestyle.

As I write these words, I am sitting in a pizzeria eating pizza toppings—mushroom and sausage—chosen by the frail man I had held the door for on my way in.[35] I am wearing a striped shirt picked out by a meticulous woman and, between sips of iced tea, glancing at a book.[36]

The old adage[37] “You have no one to blame but yourself” doesn’t apply to me anymore. In 2010, when things go wrong, I will have no one to blame but each and every one of you.

1. 现在，我们常要费劲地作太多选择，从最基本的到几乎让人“痛不欲生”的，不一而足，前者比如在杂货店收银台前考虑用现金还是信用卡结账，后者比如选择“朋友和家人”电话套餐计划还是无限短信套餐计划。

2 abundance: 大量，丰富;career move: 职业转向;overwhelming: 让人不知所措的。

3. time-consuming: 耗费时间的;alternative: 选择。

4. Steve Jobs: 史蒂夫•乔布斯，美国苹果电脑公司首席执行官，该公司产品包括电脑、手机、音乐播放器等;misery: 苦恼，为难;counteract: 对抗;outfit: 一套服装，乔布斯 平日总是穿着一条蓝色牛仔裤、一件黑色高领衫(turtleneck)和一双新百伦牌运动鞋(New Balance sneakers)。

5. be bombarded with: 不停地遭受;predicament: 困境，窘境;banal: 平庸的。

6. needy: 需要支持的。

7. Dunkin’ Donuts: 唐恩都乐咖啡馆，唐恩都乐是全球最大的咖啡和烘焙食品连锁品牌。

8. doughnut: 炸面圈。

9. gangly: 身材瘦长的;exchange: 交流。

10. shrug: 耸肩(表示不屑一顾或不感兴趣)。

11. chore: 琐碎的事;glee: 欢喜，高兴。

12. 他选了一种上面不知是蛋糊还是糖衣的炸面圈。

13. sprinkle: (撒在糕点和甜点上作装饰用的)糖屑(多为条形或圆粒状)，这里指表面撒 糖屑的面圈;with the majesty of a fireworks grand finale: 像烟花隆重收场时一样壮丽。

14. random act of indecision: 这里指(自己)不作决定(由他人选取)的随意行为。

15. strike a blow for: 拥护，为……而战斗。

16. dessert: 甜品。

17. relinquish: 放弃，自愿交出。

18. turn the reins over: 移交权力。

19. Starbucks: 星巴克咖啡店，星巴克是全球知名的咖啡店连锁品牌;perspire: 流汗。

20. cut off: 打断;spiel: 滔滔不绝的描述;whatnot: 诸如此类的东西。

21. snatch: 突然伸手抓取;thrust: 猛塞。

22. barista: 咖啡馆店员。

23. newsstand: 报刊摊;night shaver: 晚上刮胡子的人，shave(刮)的过去分词为shaven。

24. stubble: 短而硬的胡茬子;alluring: 迷人的。

25. sandy-haired: 沙色头发的;Old Navy: 老海军，美国著名休闲服饰品牌。

26. crisp: 整洁的;exclaim: 大声说。

27. irritation: 令人恼火的事。

28. pop up: 突然站起来;adopt: 收养。

29. cut across: 抄近路穿过;supermarket stride: 好像在超市里一样大踏步地走;Fruit Roll-Up: 水果卷，美国的一种水果味的零食;aisle: 过道。

30. bowels: 内部，深处。

31. pivot: 站在原地转身。

32. profusely: 一再地。

33. check off: 对……不再考虑。

34. giddy: 头晕目眩的。

35. pizzeria: 比萨饼店;pizza topping: 比萨馅料;sausage: 香肠;frail: (尤指身体)虚弱的。

36. striped: 有条纹的;meticulous: 极仔细的;sip: 小口喝。

37. adage: 谚语。