去掉八月August, Let us Get Rid of It

在北半球，八月份是一个人们普遍觉得酷暑难当的季节，那么，如果让八月份消失，那会怎样呢？

August is the month of vagueness[1]. Does it have 30 days or 31? You have to recite the rhyme to figure that one out.[2]

Calendars are always fluxing.[3] August itself was a whimsical[4] invention. In 46 B.C., as part of a broad calendar change, Julius Caesar added two days to Sextilis, an old 29-day month.[5] In the reign of his successor, Augustus Caesar, the Senate voted to change Sextilis’ name to “Augustus” (as the Senate under Julius Caesar had renamed the month before, “Quintilis,” “Julius”).[6]

August is the Mississippi[7] of the calendar. It’s beastly hot and muggy.[8] It has a dismal[9] history. Nothing good ever happens in it.

August is when the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, when Anne Frank was arrested, when the first income tax was collected, when Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe died.[10]

August is the time when thugs and dictators think they can get away with it.[11] World War I started in August 1914. The Nazis and Soviets signed their nonaggression pact in August 1939.[12] Iraq invaded Kuwait[13] Aug. 2, 1990. August is a popular month for coups[14] and violent crime. Why August? Perhaps the villains assume we’ll be too distracted by vacations or humidity to notice.[15]

August is the vast sandy wasteland of American culture. Publishers stop releasing books. Movie theaters are clogged with the egregious action movies that studios wouldn’t dare release in June.[16] Television is all reruns (or worse—new episodes of Sex and the City).[17] The sports pages wither into nothingness.

August was created by politics, and it can be undone[18] by politics. Here is a framework for “August Reform”. Cede the first 10 days of August back to July, thus extending holiday revelry for more than a week.[19] September would have the last 10 days of August, calming the folks who can’t wait to get back to serious work. August itself will keep 10 days. And as for the 31st day, it will be designated[20] a holiday independent from any month. It will fall after the 10th and last day of August, and it will celebrate the end of that most useless month.

Vocabulary

1. vagueness: 含糊，不明确。

2. 你得背诵一下(各月份天数的)变化规则才能弄清楚。

3. calendar: 日历，历法;flux: 变化。

4. whimsical: 异想天开的，心血来潮的。

5. Julius Caesar: 尤里乌斯•恺撒(前100—前44)，罗马统帅、政治家;Caesar: 恺撒，是罗马帝国从奥古斯都至哈德良帝王及以后王储的称号;Sextilis: 古罗马历法中的六月。

6.在尤里乌斯•恺撒的继任者奥古斯都•恺撒统治时期，元老院投票决定将Sextilis更名为Augustus(正如尤里乌斯•恺撒时期，元老院将Quintilis [五月] 更名为Julius)。

7. the Mississippi: 指密西西比河，北美洲最大的河流。

8. beastly: 极糟糕地，令人讨厌地;muggy:(天气等)闷热而潮湿的。

9. dismal: 阴暗的，令人忧虑的。

10. Hiroshima and Nagasaki:(日本的)大阪和长崎，美国于1945年二战期间向这两个城市投放了原子弹;Anne Frank: 安妮•弗兰克，犹太少女，二战时期遭到纳粹迫害，在藏匿躲避纳粹期间写成《安妮日记》;Elvis Presley: 埃尔维斯•普雷斯利(1935—1977)，绰号“猫王”，美国著名摇滚歌星;Marilyn Monroe: 玛丽莲•梦露(1926—1962)，美国著名性感影星。

11. thug: 恶棍，暴徒;dictator: 独裁者;get away with it: 做成坏事或错事而未被发觉或受惩罚。

12. 纳粹德国与苏联于1939年8月签订了互不侵犯条约。背景：该条约指二战前夕苏德秘密签订的《苏德互不侵犯条约》，约定双方互不侵犯，并划分了双方在东欧地区的势力范围。

13. Kuwait: 科威特，西南亚国家。

14. coup /ku:/: 政变。

15. villain: 恶棍;assume: 假设，假定;distract: 分散精力;humidity: 潮湿。

16. 影院整日播放电影公司没敢在六月份推出的骇人的动作电影。egregious: 极坏的，令人震惊的。

17. rerun: 重播节目;episode:(电影、电视等的)连续剧的一集;Sex and the City: 《欲望都市》，是美国HBO有线电视网播放的系列喜剧。

18. undo: 取消，废除。

19. cede: 割让，交出;revelry: 寻欢作乐，狂欢。

20. designate: 指定。