1. You'd rather spend the night in your bed then out with your friends.
2. You're annoyed by all of the annoying teenagers who play their music way too loud.
What's the point in even wearing headphones?
3. Baking brings you great joy.
4. You've secretly always wanted to join a knitting class.
5. Young & The Restless is your shit.
6. You enjoy walking for leisure.
7. You complete newspaper crossword puzzles everyday on your morning commute.
8. You despise the radio and listen to the oldies instead.
Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles…the list is far and great.
9. You refuse to text in acronyms.
10. You're always in some sort of pain for no apparent reason.
Your lower back, shoulders, baby toes, ankles, BASICALLY EVERYTHING.
11. Your knees crack when sitting down, standing up, walking up the stairs, walking down the stairs…
12. There's nothing more that you love than covering up.
13. You frequently mishear the things that people say.
14. You still hand-write your lecture notes.
15. House slippers, fuzzy socks, and snuggies make you smile.
16. Your signature dance move is the Chicken Dance, The Lightbulb, or the YMCA.
17. You think housework is therapeutic.
18. If you do go out, 12AM is your designated “time to call an Uber home” time.
19. You have a serious passion for wine tasting.
20. You take pride in your ever-growing book collection.
21. You aren't on social media.
…partially because you're technologically challenged.
22. You need naps to function correctly.
23. You ask for practical gifts on Christmas.
Candles and knee-high socks excite you.
24. People your actual age exhaust you.
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