西方的“拥抱文化”，你了解多少

拥抱对于一些人来说是温馨的感情表达，但并非所有人都能接受这种亲密的肢体接触。对于一些政要名流而言，拥抱更是已经沦为一种作秀，变了味道。

we chinese are not big huggers. a handshake or a pat on the shoulder is enough to convey our friendship or affection to one another. so when our newly-acquainted western friends reach out in preparation for a hug, some of us feel awkward.

我们中国人并不怎么喜欢拥抱。握手或者是拍拍肩膀就足以表达人们相互之间的友谊和感情了。当新结识的老外朋友伸出双臂想要给我们一个拥抱时，很多人都面露难色。

many questions go through our head. where should i put my arms? under their armpits or around their neck? what distance should i maintain? should our chests touch?

我们脑海中浮现出许多问号。拥抱时手臂应该放在什么位置?是对方的肋下，还是绕颈紧拥?应保持怎样的距离?是否要零距离拥抱?

it’s even more difficult with friends from some european countries. should i kiss them on the cheek while hugging? which side? or is it both cheeks? which side should i start on?

跟从欧洲国家来的朋友接触会难上加难。是不是应该在拥抱时报以“吻脸礼”呢?应该亲吻哪一边，还是吻两颊?如果是后者，那么应该从哪一边开始呢?

but it isn’t just people from cultures that emphasize a reservedness in expressing physical intimacy who find hugging confusing. hugs can cause discomfort or even distress in people who value their personal space.

然而拥抱这种肢体接触方式并不只是令那些文化背景相对保守的人们感到为难，同时也会为那些注重私人空间的人们带来不适，甚至是苦恼。

in a recent article for the wall street journal, us psychologist peggy drexler said that although the us remains a “medium touch” culture — “more physically demonstrative than japan, where a bow is the all-purpose hello and goodbye, but less demonstrative than latin or eastern european cultures, where hugs are robust and can include a kiss on both cheeks”, americans do seem to be hugging more.

在《华尔街日报》近期的一篇报道中，美国心理学家佩吉?德雷克斯勒指出，尽管美国仍在奉行“适度接触”的文化，但相对于通过一个鞠躬就能用来问好和道别的日本来说，美国人“更喜欢用身体接触表达感情”;但是比起拉丁和东欧文化里有力的拥抱和“吻两颊礼”，美国人似乎拥抱得越来越多了。

from politicians to celebrities, hugs are given willy-nilly to friends, strangers and enemies alike; and the public has been quick to pick up the practice.

从政要到名流，无论情愿与否，都会向朋友、陌生人、甚至是敌人送上拥抱。而公众也紧追潮流，纷纷模仿。

public figures know that nothing projects likeability like a good hug. us first lady michelle obama has put her arms around icy foreign leaders like russian prime minister dmitry medvedev and the queen of england, on the latter occasion breaching royal protocol.

公众人物深知没什么能比一个诚意十足的拥抱更能展现亲和力了。美国第一夫人米歇尔?奥巴马就曾拥抱过俄罗斯总理德米特里?梅德韦杰夫、英国女王这些不苟言笑的外国政要，尽管拥抱女王有触犯王室规矩之嫌。

pop superstar lady gaga is also a hug enthusiast, telling her fans that “i will always, always, try my very best to wrap my arms around you when i meet you.”

流行天后lady gaga也十分热衷拥抱。她对歌迷说：“如果有机会与你们见面，我一定会尽自己所能，给你们温暖的拥抱。”

but not all are grateful to be embraced, even by the most influential and famous. to them, any hug is offensive if it’s not sincere.

但是，即便是接受了最具影响力的名流的拥抱，也并非所有人都会心怀感激。对于他们而言，不真诚的拥抱反而是一种冒犯。

amanda hess, writing for us magazine slate, says public figures should stop imposing hugs on everyone they meet. for them, a hug is rarely a gesture of sincere fellowship, compassion or affection. it’s all part of a show. hugs are falsely intimate power plays used by public figures to establish their social dominance over those in their grasp.

来自美国《slate》杂志的作家阿曼达?赫斯就曾表示，公众人物应该避免“见人就抱”的行为。他们的拥抱鲜少透出友谊、同情等真挚情感，仅仅是作秀而已。拥抱错误地演变成公众人物一种营造亲和力的“权力秀”，以便巩固自己的阵营。