何令孩子拥有勇往直前的信心

As a parent, you want your kids to grow up to be confident, happy, and successful adults, able to face the world head-on and make the most of every opportunity. But what can you do to help them overcome the fears that might hold them back? It’s worth remembering first that fear serves a purpose; it’s a natural human emotion to warn us of possible harm – a call to action to protect ourselves. However, in our modern world, fear often tends to be out of proportion to risk and can prevent us from achieving as much as we would like, and are capable of.

作为一个家长,您希望您的孩子成长为自信,快乐,和成功的成年人,能够正面面对这个世界,充分利用每一个机会。但是你能做什么来帮助他们克服让他们后退的恐惧呢?值得记住的是,恐惧是有目的的;它是一个自然的人类情感警告，是用来提醒我们可能的发生危害——呼吁我们来保护自己的行动。然而,在我们的现实世界,恐惧经常倾向于风险比例,可以阻止我们实现我们的愿望。

1. Acknowledge the fear, don’t just dismiss it

承认恐惧,不要只是不理会它

Simply telling your child to not be afraid, or to stop being silly, isn’t an effective way to help them deal with it. You need to acknowledge it properly. Whatever you might think about the fear, it’s very real to them and they need to know that you get that. Give them the opportunity to talk about it, show that you really understand. The fear needs to be acknowledged first before you can help them to move on from it.

简单地告诉你的孩子不要害怕,或停止愚蠢,不是一个有效的方法来帮助他们解决它。你需要正确承认它。无论你怎么思考恐惧,它是非常真实的,他们需要知道你理解。给他们谈论它的机会,表明你真的理解。在你可以帮助他们继续前进之前首先需要先承认恐惧。

2. Let them know that failure IS an option

让他们知道失败可选择的

Society places such pressure on everyone not to fail, we can easily forget that failure is often a key part of the learning process. Most of the greatest inventions in history were the result of a long series of failed attempts before the final successful one was achieved. Don’t let fear of failure hold your kids back, let them know that it’s okay to fail sometimes, show them how they can learn from it in order to do better next time. Model this behavior for them, if you fail at something, show them how you turn it around into a positive.

社会给每个人都不能失败的压力,我们可以很容易忘记失败往往是学习过程的关键部分。历史上最伟大的发明是最终成功的实现之前有一长串的失败的尝试结果。不要让对失败的恐惧阻碍你的孩子,让他们知道有时失败是可以的,向他们展示如何从中学习为了下次做得更好。对他们这种行为做个榜样,如果你失败了的时候,告诉他们你如何变得积极。

3. Don’t pass your own fears onto them

不要把自己的恐惧隐藏

This is one that most of us are aware of and yet, as parents, we’re probably all guilty of it at times. Realistically, you’re probably not going to be able to completely hide your fears from your kids at all times. What you can do however is talk it through with them, show them that you’re human, and you too are afraid of things that you don’t need to be afraid of at times. Show them how you deal with it and how you are working to overcome those fears.

这是一个大多数人都意识到的,然而,作为父母,我们可能都有罪的。实际上,你可能不能完全在任何时候对你的孩子隐藏你的恐惧。你所能做的不过是通过与他们交谈,让他们知道你是人类,有时候你也害怕不需要害怕的事情。向他们展示你如何处理它,和你正在努力克服这些恐惧。

4. Help them identify the actual fear

帮助他们确定实际的恐惧

Often when people express a fear, they’re actually talking about something that is a step away from the fear itself – if someone says they’re afraid of flying, they’re probably not actually afraid of flying, they’re afraid of crashing. A child who says they’re afraid of monsters under the bed aren’t actually afraid of the monsters being under the bed, they’re afraid of them coming out from under the bed to hurt them. An important step in overcoming a fear is to clearly pinpoint what the actual fear is, so help them to do this and then work together to address it.

通常当人们表达恐惧,事实上,他们谈论的是这是一个远离恐惧本身的问题——如果有人说他们害怕飞行,他们可能不是真的害怕飞行,他们是害怕摔碎。一个孩子说他们害怕在床底下的怪物实际上不是害怕床下的怪物,他们害怕怪物从床下出来伤害他们。克服恐惧的重要一步是清楚地确定实际的恐惧是什么,所以帮助他们做到这一点,然后一起来解决这个问题。

5. Show them the benefits

让他们知道恐惧带来的好处

Sometimes a child can be so focused on the fear that they can’t see beyond it. Talk through the benefits of overcoming the fear with them, what they will gain, what it might lead on to. Ask them questions to encourage them to think of what the positive outcomes might be rather than just telling them. This will help to refocus their attention on to the other side of the fear barrier.

有时一个孩子可能是太害怕恐惧了所以他们看不到恐惧背后的东西。与他们讨论克服恐惧的好处,他们会得到什么,或这可能会导致什么。问他们问题,鼓励他们积极思考的成果而不仅仅是告诉他们。这将有助于他们把注意力集中在恐惧障碍的另一边。