全程班考研英语作文的批改范例一

　　air pollution（标题大写） 　　As depicted in the picture, large cloulds （clouds）of smoke from chimneys cover the sky. Obviously, chimneys in cities caused a lot of pollution; the air is nearly suffocating. It can be seen that the symbolic meaning the picture conveys deep （前面加be动词，否则句子不通顺）and profound. We thereby can conclude that coal burning has brought about great hazards to the city. 　　Firstly, factories were usually placed （用lie的相关形式，usually lie）in the center of cities, among （between）residential and business area. Even people lived near location of factories. （删掉）If functions of different areas of city are confused, smoke, which contains of deleterious gases, will continue to be a public trouble. In addition, the number of such chimneys has a lot to do with the harm. （不通顺）That is partly explained by the fact that nearly every block has several chimneys for heating system, which makes the whole city immersed in thick smoke. Last and the most important one, respiratory diseases have been reported to be rising and old people dying of the wirsening（删掉）air pollution. 　　Confronted with this problem, we should find several solution（复数）to it. On one hand, factories with chimneys should be moved out of the center of the city and（用or）it（删掉）made sure the waste gases are at least not bad. For another, other ways of heating should be developed to stop using coal. Only by doing so, can we kill two birds with one stone. 　　点评：12分 　　该文基本完成了试题任务，能够按照试题的原意进行分析陈述，包含了一些内容观点，使用了较为丰富的语法结构与词汇，前后衔接还算连贯。 　　但本文也存在一些不足之处，表现比较明显的是语法错误与时态错误，外加一些句子的被动形式，当然，这也是考试作文的难点与易错点，需要细心留意。另外，有些句子读起来比较晦涩，词汇变换方面也有一些错误，如果能在此方面多下功夫并留心细心，相信你能写出一篇不错的考研作文。