考研英语待批改作文:
0-4分
第三篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a buyer of your online store and I bought a mobile phone last week. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about some problems after I use it during a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that it is unconvenience to use it and I cannot stand it. In the first place, the buttery needs recharging after using mere four hours, and I must take my charger with me when I go out for a while. In addition, the buttom are too small that it is nearly difficult to type anything with them. Under these circumstances, I find it so hard to use it in my daily life.
I appreciate it very much if you could change my phone for another new one that works well, preferably receive a refund for it, and I would like to have this matter settled by you within a week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
考研英语作文批改点评如下:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a buyer of your online store and I bought a mobile phone last week. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about some problems after I use(改为using) it during a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that it is unconvenience (改为inconvenient)to use it and I cannot stand it. In the first place, the buttery needs recharging after using(加for) mere four hours, and I must take my charger with me when I go out for a while. In addition, the buttom(拼写错误,导致我不清楚你要表达的意思) are too small that it is nearly difficult to type anything with them. Under these circumstances, I find it so hard to use it in my daily life.
I appreciate it very much if you could change my phone for another new one that works well, preferably receive a refund for it, and I would like to have this matter settled by you within a week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
4分
同学你好,标点符号与后面的单词要空一格。建议你写完作文后再检查一遍,如果仅仅是因为拼写错误,造成老师对整篇作文的理解出现偏差,最终影响分数是得不偿失的。
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