Confessions of an Ex-Smoker
My name is Maurice Zolotow. I am an ex-smoker. I havent had a cigarette since July 4, 1982!
Last October, I spoke those words to 32 members of Smokers Anonymous, which meets once a week in Roxbury Park, Calif. As the leader that evening, I called on those present to tell why they had smoked and how they had stopped. In this way we help each other through the emotional crises that ensue when the addiction to nicotine is broken.
For make no mistake about it: smoking is an addiction. We ex-smokers have discovered that smoking could not have done so much to us if it first had not done so much for us. We know about cancer and emphysema and strokes. But we also know the benefits of smoking.
Many of us are shy and nervous, and have used cigarettes as a smoke screen to protect us from intimacy. We have needed the calming effect of inhaling and exhaling cigarette fumes during tense business conferences or personal confrontations. We have discovered that when we stop smoking, powerful resentments suddenly surface and drive us up the wall. And that is mostly what we talk about at our meetings, which are modeled on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Deadly Habit. After 40 years of smoking from two to three packs of cigarettes a day, after being warned by a surgeon that smoking was destroying my larynx, after being warned by other doctors that I was at risk of both lung cancer ad emphysema, after suffering a mild stroke, after all this and more, I was still compelled to smoke. Had to smoke. And I became resigned to the fact that Id go on puffing, coughing and spitting, despite knowing that it was killing me, until death in fact did me part.
You see, It isnt the quitting thats hard. As Mark Twain once said, Its easy to stop smoking; Ive done it thousands of times. The hard part is: How do you go on living after you stop? And how, for heavens sake, do you stay stopped?
And so, Im here to tell you those of you who are still killing yourselves with nicotine that it can be done. It can be done as I and others are doing it right now. We dont do it with willpower. Quite the opposite. We surrendered.
We admitted that we were powerless over those dumb sticks of white paper filled with chopped-up weed. Some of us believe in God. Others rely on the strength of the group. But all of us believe that it is the process of helping smokers still in the severe pains of the addiction that has been most beneficial. This is a new movement in the war against cigarettes, and it works.
New Joys. Three times a month, on Monday evenings, we have a Quakerlike meeting during which each of us speaks for a few moments. We speak of the new joys of tasting and smelling food, of driving in a clean automobile, of how good kisses taste without smoke on the breath. We speak of how our complexions have improved, of how young we feel, of the new strength we are bringing to our favorite sports. We even speak, some of us, blushing, of how our sex lives have livened up.
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