How to Deal With Difficult People
In New York City one day, a businesswoman got into a taxi. Because it was rush hour and she was hurrying for a train, she suggested a route. Ive been a cabby for 15 years! the driver yelled. You think I dont know the best way to go?
The woman tried to explain that she hadnt meant to offend him, but the driver kept yelling. She finally realized he was too upset to be reasonable. So she did the unexpected. You know, youre right, she told him. It must seem dumb for me to assume you dont know the best way through the city.
Taken aback, the driver flashed his rider a confused look in the rear-view mirror, turned down the street she wanted and got her to the train on time. He didnt say another word the rest of the ride, she said, until I got out and paid him. Then he thanked me.
When you encounter people like this cab driver, theres an irresistible urge to dig in your heels. This can lead to prolonged arguments, soured friendships, lost career opportunities and broken marriages. As a clinical psychiatrist, Ive discovered one simple but extremely unlikely principle that can prevent virtually any conflict or other difficult situation from becoming a recipe for disaster.
The key is to put yourself in the other persons shoes and look for the truth in what that person is saying. Find a way to agree. The result may surprise you.
Sulkers Steves 14-year-old son, Adam, had been irritable for several days. When Steve asked why, Adam snapped, Nothings wrong! Leave me alone! and stalked off to his room.
We all know people like this. When theres problem, they may sulk(生闷气) or act angry and refuse to talk.
So whats the solution? First, Steve needs to ask himself why Adam wont talk. Maybe the boy is worried about something that happened at school. Or he might be angry at his dad but afraid to bring it up because Steve gets defensive whenever he is criticized. Steve can pursue these possibilities the next time they talk by saying, I noticed youre upset, and I think it would help to get the problem out in the open. It may be hard because I havent always listened very well. If so, I feel bad because I love you and dont want to let you down.
If Adam still refuses to talk, Steve can take a different tack: Im concerned about whats going on with you, but we can talk things over later, when youre more in the mood.
分词的用法
直接引语转换为间接引语时人称代词转换规律
将来完成时
小学英语小升初语法巧记口诀
定语从句详解(五)
特殊的虚拟语气词:should
代词比较辩异 one,that 和it
主动态表被动的意义
分词的用法(四)
带有否定词的比较句型
与格动词
had better表示"最好"
名词作定语的几点说明
教你一眼认出英语单词的意思之一
动词thank / appreciate的搭配习惯
I am all ears"和"get cold feet"的区别
倒装,语法及例题(二)
英语中必须掌握的连词
英语中的省略
浅谈倒装句(六)
介词to的用法归纳
浅谈动名词用法
分词的用法(三)
英语语法:部分否定的几种表示方法
英语句子六大成分英语的句子
教你一眼认出英语单词的意思之二
过去将来时
动名词短语
小学英语小升初语法学习6大策略
小升初必备语法:其他部分倒装
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