Some people think that the best way to advise people is simply to find what they
want and help them attain it? In my view, this method is generally not the best way to
proceed in advising others; it ignores the plain truth that many people do not know what
they want and do not know what is best for them.
My main reason for rejecting this technique is that people very rarely have any
clear idea of what they want. This applies not only to consumer items such as clothing,
cars and luxury items but also to what they want out of life in general. In fact, numerous
studies have shown that most people cannot list the ten things they want most out of life,
even if given considerable time to think about it.
My second reason for rejecting this method is that more often than not what
people want is not what is best for them. Parents continually face this problem when
advising their children. For example, suppose a child wants to quit school and get a job.
Surely, the parents would be derelict in helping their child attain this want instead of
convincing the child that continuing education would be in his or her best interest.
Admittedly, following the proposed advising method would result in a high rate of
compliance, since the person being advised would act consistently with his or her own
will by following the advice. However, as noted above, acting according to what one
wants is not necessarily desirable. Proponents of this method might also point to college
counselors as models of this technique. However, college counselors should not
necessarily be held up as models for advising people generally, let alone as models for
advising students.
In conclusion, I do not agree that the best way to advise people is to find what
they desire and help them achieve it. In my estimation the pitfalls of such a technique
outweigh any of its potential advantages.
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