如何看穿圣诞礼物是否合他人心意

Tis the season to be jolly – but not if you receive a Christmas present that, with the best will in the world, you don’t really like.

这是个快乐的节日——除非你无论如何都不喜欢自己收到的圣诞礼物。

It’s also not much fun giving someone a present and suspecting that they’re not overly keen on it.

送出礼物后担心别人不喜欢，也是一件令人头疼的事。

But just how do you tell if someone genuinely likes their gift, or is masking disappointment?

那么，你要如何知道别人是真心实意地喜欢礼物，还是虚情假意地掩饰失望呢？

MailOnline met Dr Simon Moore, a chartered psychologist with the British Psychological Society, to discover the verbal and physical signs that reveal what people really think of their present.

《每日邮报》网站（Mail Online）采访了英国心理学会（British Psychological Society）的特许心理学家西蒙·摩尔（Simon Moore）博士，他发现一些语言和肢体信号，可以暴露出人们对于礼物的真实想法。

A survey by eBay revealed that 59% of people are steeling themselves to feign delight if they unwrap presents they don’t want this today .The good news for those worried about their acting skills, said Dr Moore, is that spotting fake happiness is quite hard, with the detection rate for the average person being around 40 to 50 per cent.

据eBay的一项调查显示，有59%的人在拆开自己不喜欢的礼物时会假装高兴。摩尔博士说：“有一个好消息要告诉那些担心自己演技的人，假装高兴是很难被别人发觉的，一般人被看穿的机率约为40%-50%。

A select few, he says, will be able to correctly see through around seven or eight out of 10 attempts to fake joy.

他说，只有少数人能有七、八成的把握看穿别人是在假装高兴。

The trick to up your detection rate, said Dr Moore, is never to look for one or two signals, but a cluster of them.

摩尔博士表示，要识破一个人是否在假装开心，永远不要只看一个或两个信号，而是要从几个方面结合起来观察。

And here are the major clues:

下面就是一些主要线索：

THE FACE FREEZES

面部僵硬

The first signs of feigning delight occur as the present is pulled out of the box, according to Dr Moore – and it’s a momentary facial freeze as the receiver tries to work out how they’re going to pull the wool over the eyes of the giver.

摩尔博士说，第一个说谎的迹象是在拆开礼物的时候，收到礼物的人面部表情会短暂地僵硬，因为他们在思考着如何才能蒙蔽送礼者的眼睛。

Dr Moore said: ‘It’s the microseconds of you trying to find that template – if you want to be happy, it’s you trying to work out what you need to look like.

他说：“你有几微秒的时间发现此迹象，也只有几微秒的时间想好你如何去装模作样。”

‘If you’re good, you’ll pick up on those things. It’s very quick. It happens over a few hundredths of a second. The quick search you do when you need to project happiness. It’s like a car going into neutral, then all of a sudden you find the gear. You’ve got to find that gear. If you’re tuned into it, you’ll pick it up.’

“如果你能力很强，就能捕捉这些迹象。它在很短时间内发生，一般只有百分之几秒。当你试图假装高兴时也需要快速地完成。就像你开车时挂入空挡，然后突然间发现齿轮组转动。你一定要发现这种迹象，并且捕捉它。”

AGITATION

躁动不安

Going on the fake produces agitation, Dr Moore explained, because when we’re stressed we produced energy that needs to be dissipated. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways.

装模作样会让人感到躁动不安，摩尔博士解释到，当我们紧张时身体会产生多余的能量，而这些能量会以多种方式呈现出来。

Dr Moore said: ‘Liars tend to do tapping kind of behaviour. They’ll tap their feet, they’ll shake their leg – like a rattlesnake.

他说：“说谎者会做敲打之类的行为。他们会轻打自己的脚，或者摇晃着双腿——像一条响尾蛇。

‘If the person is trying to think how to feign delight, they’ll start getting agitated. So you either sit dead still, because you’re trying to control yourself. For example, you’ll see celebrities on TV sitting dead straight while they’re getting quizzed. It’s a sure sign that they’re trying to control their non-verbal signs.

“如果人们想着如何假装高兴，他们会越来越焦虑。所以你会一动不动地坐着，以此来控制自己。比如，你看到电视里的明星笔挺地坐着接受提问，这就是他们试图控制自己肢体语言的表现。

‘They’ve been trained. They’ve been told not to move in case they give something away. Or if they sit slightly on the side. That’s another clue.

“明星们接受过训练，他们知道万一不小心说漏嘴了也别移动身子。或者他们的身体略微偏向一边，这是另一种提示线索。

‘If you want to protest that you’re telling the truth you’re animated, you’re bothered about it, you’re engaged. But it’s a different kind of animation.’

“也许你会抗议，说自己确实感到高兴时也会这么做，但两种兴奋的表现是不一样的。”

TOUCHING THE FACE AND SHAKING THE HEAD

摸脸和摇头

Those in the lying game often touch their face a bit more as they push their deception.

说谎者常常会摸自己的脸，因为他们想让别人相信自己的谎言。

It’s a way of smothering the parts of our face we think are going to give the game away.

这种遮掩部分脸的行为会让说谎者露出马脚。

Dr Moore said: ‘You’ll perhaps touch the face a bit more. What you’re subconsciously trying to do is hide your mouth and eyes.

摩尔博士说：“你可能会更频繁地摸脸，因为你在潜意识中想隐藏自己的嘴巴和眼睛。

He added: ‘And liars will make non-verbal mistakes along the lines of saying “yes”, but shake their head at the same time.’

他补充说：“说谎者还会犯一些非语言错误，比如在说‘是’的同时摇头。”

LEAN MACHINE

身体倾斜

According to Dr Moore, we move towards things we like, and away from those that we don’t. And stand on our toes if we’re displeased.

据摩尔博士说，我们的身体趋向于靠近喜爱的事物，而远离讨厌的事物。当我们不开心的时候还会微微踮起脚尖。

‘If you lean away, that’s usually a sign,’ he said. ‘If we don’t like something we tend to stand on the tops of our feet, on tip-toe. So if they’re sitting down they’ll lean back.’

“当你身体后倾，这通常就是种信号。”博士说，“当我们不喜欢某事物的时候，我们会微微踮起脚尖。如果是在坐着的时候，我们会向后倾斜身体。”

SMILES BETTER

更迷人的笑容

If the receiver of the gift is faking it, the smile could give the game away too.

如果接受礼物的人假装喜欢，那他的笑容也会让他露出马脚。

‘If you think you’re doing well you get what we call the smug smile which says “I’m getting away with this”,’ said Dr Moore. ‘It’s not a natural smile. It’s a half smile.’

“如果你觉得选对了礼物并得到了一个自以为很迷人的微笑，这微笑往往意味着他想赶紧摆脱这件事，”摩尔博士说，“这不是一个自然的微笑，它只有一半是真心的。”

ON THE BLINK

说谎眨眼

Keep an eye on fluttering eyelids, if you want to root out deception.

如果你想察觉到谎言，仔细观察对方是否有眨眼。

Dr Moore said: ‘There’s also some research to suggest that if you’re lying, your blink rate decreases. And then afterwards you blink more. It’s almost like relief. But that’s contentious. There’s debate about that one.’

摩尔博士说：“还有一些研究表明当人们在撒谎的时候，他们的眨眼频率会下降。而在撒谎之后，眨眼频率又会回升，就像在缓解一样。但是这是很有争议性的，科学家们也对这个理论进行争辩。”

PITCHING IN

音调升高

You’ll need to keep your eyes and ears open to home in on bluffing, because those doing it speak a lot more and at a higher pitch.

你要仔细地观察和倾听，因为人们说谎时音调会往往上扬。

Dr Moore said: ‘The tone of your voice will go up in pitch if you’re not being truthful. It’s a strain thing. You get these layer effects. You’re thinking “what have I got to look like?”, “what have I got to say?” It’s a lot of things to deal with in your mind. And you can’t practice it. And you’ve got to do it live. One take.

摩尔博士说：“当你不诚实的时候，你讲话的音调会变高，这是紧张引起的。因为你有很多要考虑到的事情，比如‘我的面部表情应该如何?’，‘我应该说些什么?’，诸如此类的一系列考虑充斥在你的脑海中。但是你没有练习的机会，你必须一次性直播完这一切。”

‘Some people over-compensate and say “oh, it’s fantastic!” That can denote that someone’s faking it. It’s almost as if they’re trying to convince themselves.

有些人过于浮夸地说出“喔，这简直太棒了！”。这说明他们是做作地说出来的，就好像是在试图说服自己一样。

‘They talk longer. So they actually fill up sentences longer.’

“他们话会变多，所以实际上他们也加长了每句话。”

There are a number of reasons for this, according to Dr Moore. And one is to stop protest in its tracks.

摩尔博士说，这是由很多原因导致的，其中一个就是说谎者希望能阻止别人发现他说谎。

He said: ‘There are two methods of psychological persuasion. There’s facts and figures, but 80 per cent of people are persuaded by peripheral cues, like how attractive someone is, how knowledgeable we think they are, what’s their status, do we like them…

他说：“有两种精神劝说的途径，均有事实和数据可以证明。百分之八十的人是被‘外围提示’说服的，比如某个人长得好不好看、学识如何、地位高低、是否被大家喜欢……”

‘So if you talk fast it does two things. One it suggests you know a lot about it, secondly, if I’m talking, you can’t talk, so you can’t protest. And if I give you lots of information, your brain can’t defend against it. So if someone doesn’t like something they might talk a lot about it. Partly because they’re energised, partly because they’re trying to convince you that they like it.’

所以人们说话快有两个效用，一是可以显示你了解很多，二是当我说话时你便不能说话，这就阻止了你发现和指出我撒谎。还有就是当我的话语给出了大量的信息，那么你的大脑就不能及时反应并发现其中的问题。所以当某人不喜欢礼物的时候，他反而可能说大量有关这个礼物的话。有可能只是由于他精力充沛，但也可能是因为他想要说服你他喜欢这件礼物。”

EYE EYE

眼睛之间

Finally, watch for a tiny crease appearing between the eye.

最后，你还可以观察他们是否表现出了微小的皱眉。

‘That’s a sign they’re not happy,’ added Dr Moore.

“这是他们不开心的标志。”，摩尔博士补充说。

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE GOT IT RIGHT

如何看出你买对了礼物

It’s much easier to tell if someone is happy. For instance, if they give you a hug and a kiss, you’ve done something right.

相比之下，判断一个人是否开心就容易多了。比如，倘若他们给你一个拥抱或热吻，那你一定买对了。

There are a few other signs, though.

不过，也有一些其他迹象能表明对方真心喜欢你送的礼物。

Dr Moore said: ‘Their eyes will light up and there will be a natural smile. Their eyebrows will probably go up. They won’t say much. They won’t need to say much. So they might say “oh this is great, thanks”. And that’s all they need to say. Natural stuff is quick and short. They will lean forward, look a little bit animated. And the voice will more or less stay the same.’

摩尔博士说：“他们会眼睛一亮而且展现自然的微笑。他们的眉毛会上扬。他们明白一切尽在不言中，所以也许只说一句‘这很棒，谢谢你’，但这已经足够了。自然的事物总是简短而轻快的。他们的身体会向前倾斜，看起来活泼而兴奋。而他们的音调则或多或少停留在同一高度。”

If you're still not sure either way, look out for someone making a steeple with their hands, said Dr Moore, that's often a sign of honesty.

如果你还不确定的话，摩尔博士告诉我们，看看他们是否做出尖塔式手势，这往往就是诚实的标志。