成功婚姻的关键

1) Be friends first

1）首先要做朋友

Yes, of course, you’re no longer boyfriend and girlfriend – now you’re husband and wife. That’s a big deal and it’s a pretty massive change. There’s no way that you wouldn’t notice this.

是的，当然，你们已经不再是男女朋友关系——你们现在是夫妻关系。这是很重大的一件事，而且是一个非常巨大的改变。你肯定会注意到这一点。

But if you don’t act like the two of you are friends, you’re going to let all the ups and downs of life get in the way. Things won’t always be super great and you won’t be happy all the time. You’re going to have long, exhausting weeks at work. You’re going to have an epic cold that won’t go away for six weeks. You’re going to struggle to balance everything in your life, from your marriage to your best friends to your career and hobbies.

但是如果你在做事的时候不再像朋友一样，那么你的人生会出现起起落落。事情不会总是那么顺利，而且你也不会一直都很开心。你将会有冗长累人的工作周。而且你会经历史无前例的感冒，6周都好不了。你会挣扎着平衡生活中的方方面面，从婚姻到最好的朋友，再到你的事业和爱好。

If you and your now husband stop being friends first, you might not be super compassionate toward each other when life doesn’t go as planned. And that would be a real shame since it would basically mean forgetting that whole “in sickness and in health” thing.

如果你和你的丈夫不再首先像朋友一样相处，那么当生活不按照计划进行的时候，你们互相之间或许不会那么富有同情心了。而且这将会是真正的羞辱，因为这基本上意味着忘掉所有的“生病和健康”的事情。

2) Be your own person

2）做你自己

You can’t magically get rid of your life just because you’re married now. You need to still be your own person. If you don’t, you’re going to resent your husband for making your entire life about him… and that’s not fair since it will be your decision and your doing.

你不可能像魔法一样来摆脱自己的生活，仅仅是因为你现在结婚了。你还是需要做自己。如果你不再做自己，你将会怨恨你的丈夫，恨他将你的整个生活都变成了他的……而且这并不公平，因为这是你自己的决定和做法。

Think about what matters to you the most in your life. That Saturday morning barre cardio class? Spending a quiet Sunday afternoon baking chocolate chip cookies? Girls night out and trips with your friends and seeing your parents and sister on a regular basis?

想想你生活中最重要的事情。周六的扶手杠有氧运动课程？在周日下午安静地烤巧克力薄饼甜点？定期与闺蜜晚上一起闲逛，和你的朋友旅游，看望你的父母和姐妹？

Don’t get rid of your interests and hobbies or stop seeing the people that mean the most to you. It’s unhealthy to be laser focused on your relationship, and your husband probably doesn’t want to give up everything and everyone that he loves, either.

不要放弃你的兴趣爱好，不要停止看望对你重要的人。将所有的注意力都集中在你们关系上是不健康的，你的老公或许也不会像放弃他喜欢在乎的一切事和人。