top 10 赞美
西方人乐于赞美别人,同时也乐于接受别人的赞美。而中国人为了显示谦恭,常常会“拒绝”他人的赞美。这种“拒绝”会让老外觉得莫明其妙,好像你不领他的情似的。
还有,中国人出于礼貌,或者想跟人套近乎,总是愿意说些关心人的话。为了献殷勤,我们常喜欢对客人说"you must be tired? have a good rest."。然而,普通的问候之语却有可能让西方人误解为你对她的身体状况表示担忧。他们很喜欢别人夸他们年轻、强壮,如果你质疑他们的身体健康,他们甚至会发怒的。
top 9 致谢
中国人认为对家里人或者好朋友的帮助是one's own obligation, no need to thank or be thanked,彼此根本不必说谢谢,说了反而显得关系生分。而老外对家人或者朋友的帮忙都习惯说谢谢,他们期待polite expression_rs like "please", "thank you", etc.。所以,和老外相处,千万不要吝啬“谢谢”两个字。“谢”少了只会让老外觉得你羞涩且不懂礼貌。
top 8 出游
中国人结伴出游的时候,如果买什么东西,花钱的那个人一般都会先统计有几个人,然后按照人头购买东西,即便有人之前客气地说不要,中国人还是会给他买上一份。
when a chinese offers refreshments or drinks to his colleague, his colleague often declines the offer politely, because he doesn't want to trouble the person who offers and it also shows his politeness. normally the person who offers still prepares or buys refreshments or drinks, and this will be expected by his colleague. sharing food and drink when going out together is common among colleagues and friends。
然而和老外结伴出游,如果你客气地推说不需要某样东西,那么对方真的就不会给你买。他们觉得不给你买是尊重你的决定。respect one's own decision, "yes" means one wants it, "no" means one doesn't, politeness is usually shown by the expression_r 'thank you' or "please"。所以,想要什么东西,就直接说出来吧,事后真诚地说声谢谢才是他们眼中的礼貌做法。
top 7 称呼
当外国人听到中国人称呼他们为“老外”的时候,他们心里是不高兴的,因为他们觉得自己并不老,且很健康。他们dislike being labelled as "old", being young valued above being old。
而当他们听到中国人管外国小孩也叫“老外”的时候,他们才明白“老”其实是对某个人的尊称,比如老张,老王。"lao" is a commonly used term by chinese people to address someone who is older than the speaker to show his politeness, respect and closeness. the term does not necessarily mean old age. "lao wai" is a colloquial term of address for foreigners。
top 6 送别
中国人表达情感的方式相对内敛。送别的时候,他们强忍泪水,吝于拥抱,种种“冷淡”表现让老外深感诧异。所以,如果你和老外送别,举止不妨洒脱奔放一些,可别让他们觉得你是“冷血动物”。
like everyone else we are affectionate to our friends and relatives, but perhaps we show our affection in public less than other peoples. maybe the whole family as well as some friends will go to the railway station or the airport to see a person off, no matter whether he/she goes abroad to study or to another province for work. this may well strike many westerners as very moving, yet they might be puzzled when they see that nobody will hug or kiss when the time comes for saying goodbye. friends may shake hands with the person who is leaving and parents may hold his/her hand for a long time with tears in their eyes, but with no other physical contact. in fact hugging and kissing are seldom seen in public in china, no matter what the occasion is。
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