I am an English teacher who has three-year teaching experience. I want to transfer your city for my career development. Today, I have read about a news of your school having a recruit in the newspaper. I found that two English teachers are needed in your school, so I think that I may be a proper person.
If you are willing to interview me, I will be pleasure and make you further understand me. You can contact me at your spare time, my cell phone number 384756458. I am looking forward to an early reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
考研英语作文批改点评如下：
Dear Dean:(英语中用逗号) I am an English teacher who has three-year teaching experience. I want to transfer(加介词to) your city for my career development. Today, I have read about a(用定冠词the) news of your school having a recruit in the newspaper. I found that two English teachers are needed in your school, so I think that I may be a proper person. Now, I introduce myself in brief. I graduated from Beijing Foreign Language University three years ago, and was allocated a middle school in a county. During my work, I have achieved a teaching certificate. I am convicted that I am able to be competent to my job. The students I taught have achieved the first place of their English grades in the whole county after the final term examination was(改成that或是去掉was) held in this semester. As a result, I was given the prestige of the excellent teacher. If you are willing to interview me, I will be pleasure(这里 需要一个形容词) and make you further understand me. You can contact me at your spare time, my cell phone number 384756458. I am looking forward to an early reply. Yours sincerely, Li Ming 点评：6分表达不够简洁。注意细节。