Yours sincerly,
Li Ming
考研英语作文批改点评如下：
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a(应该用an) undergraduate with Department of Human Resources in ABC University. I am writing to apply for the HR assistant position which issued on your homepage. I hope that my major and experiences will qualify me for the job. Firstly, for the past four years I have acheived(拼写错误，achieved) satisfactory scores in my studies and been awarded scholarships several times, and I also had past the Human(既然后面的单词都没有大写首字母，这里也不要大写了) resources management division examination. Secondly, with more than one year of experience working as a part-time HR assistant in D company, I feel that I have the qualifications necessary to effectively handle the responsibilities of the position. Lastly, compared to other candidates(不要跟别人比较，因为你不了解别的应聘者的情况) I can speak not only English but also Japanese fluently.
I would like to express my gratitude for your attention to my resume. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yourssincerely(Yours sincerely),
Li(不用空格) Ming 点评：7-8分写的不错，有些地方最好能简化一点。