考研英语复习资料考研英语作文范文的批改12-查字典英语网
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考研英语复习资料考研英语作文范文的批改12

发布时间:2016-03-01  编辑:查字典英语网小编

  考研英语待批改作文:

  Dear HR Manager,

  I have found your job advertisements on the website JobSeeker.Com yestoday.It is attracted me want to apply Excecutive Assistant of your campany.

  With five years working experience in an national factory,which make me have a strength ability of commuication and team corperation.Now I have finished continuing education of MBA,which enlight me to build a new career.In order to put my knowledge into practice,I would like to work for a well-managed and successful campany just like yours.

  If I can be admitted by your campany, I will assist CEO do some useful management and help him deal with difficult documents.I m really eager to work for your comany and work with colleagues.

  My resume will send to you by post letter tomorrow.Looking forward to your recent reply and thank you for reading my letter.

  ------------------------------------------------------------- Yours,Sincerely

  -------------------------------------------------------------- Li Ming

  考研英语作文批改点评如下:

  Dear HR Manager,I have found(用过去时就可以了,没有用完成时的语境) your job advertisements on the website JobSeeker.Com yestoday(这里是什么意思?). It is attracted me(加不定式to) want to apply Excecutive(拼写错误,executive) Assistant of your campany(拼写错误company). 【With five years(five-year或者是five years) working experience in an(应该用a) national factory, which make me have a strength ability of commuication(拼写错误) and team corperation(拼写错误).前半句是一个介词短语,后半句是定语从句,这句话的结构是不正确的,把with 和,which去掉,把make改成makes】 Now I have finished continuing education of MBA, which enlight(拼写错误,应该用三单形式enlightens) me to build a new career. In order to put my knowledge into practice, I would like to work for a well-managed and successful campany(拼写错误company) just like yours. If I can be admitted by your campany(拼写错误company), I will assist CEO do some useful management and help him deal with difficult documents. I m really eager to work for your comany(拼写错误company) and work with colleagues. My resume will send to you by post letter tomorrow. Looking forward to your recent reply and thank you for reading my letter.------------------------------------------------------------- Yours,Sincerely(s小写)-------------------------------------------------------------- Li Ming 点评:4-5分语法错误有点多,尤其是第一段开头就出现了几处语法错误,最后两段简练一些并成一段。I will assist CEO do some useful management and help him deal with difficult documents这句话可以去掉,因为这正式这个职位需要做的。

  

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