Dear Sir/(改为or)Madam, I write this letter to you in order(删除,重复) to find a candidate for (改为of)the Project Hope, because I have decided to offer financial aid to a child in a remote area. As there are many children who need help, maybe I should let you know that the candidate I want to help would be a girl in primary school. I have planned (一般现在时就可以plan)to keep offering her 1000 yuan a year until she graduated(原型graduate) from junior high school. Besides, I am quite willing to send her some used clothes and books, and I would really like to write letters to her. Thank you so much for doing me this favour. I am looking forward to your reply.Sincerely, Li Ming 点评:8-9分 文章的语言流畅,内容完整,结构也较为清晰。只是出现了个别的表达错误,希望引以为鉴。有一点需要说明的,你稍有一些受中文思维的影响,这就要求你在今后的学习中注意多学习地道的英文表达。
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Mainly revision
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