英语写作中的结构重组问题
各类考试中英语写作虽有模板可循,究其实质,仍是汉译英。任何一名考生在英语写作中,难逃汉译英的逻辑套路,所走思路一般为先胸中形成汉语意思,再将汉语意思转换为英文,即便英语素养较高的考生,在两者转换过程中没有时间差,出手即英文也是不太可能的。就在这一转换过程中,尽显英雄本色,英语英雄者,妙笔生花,出手不凡;英语笨拙者,最后只能造出个不中不洋的拙劣句子。我们可以给汉译英一个重新定位:包含所有语言信息的一种结构再造。具体说来就是面对一句中文,翻译时要打乱原有语序和结构,自行设计,重组语言信息,无限靠近原汁原味的英语,姑且将这种方法称之为结构重组。这一点是基于这么一个事实:英语跟中文的语序和结构不尽一样。下面举例说明:
(1)简单句类(所谓简单句,即是含有一个动词的句子)
看一例:他嗓门大。最容易翻译成:His voice is loud .
评语:超级直白
而更好的翻译是:He has a loud voice. 其实就成了 他有一个大嗓门。如果第一步便翻译成he has a loud voice,恭喜,你就被归入少数具备英语思维的高手类了,就这么简单。
对策:多多积攒类似例句,然后多多模仿。
试一个:她身材好,便可翻译成:She has a good figure.
(2)复杂句类
看一例:我抬头一看,只见一群衣衫褴褛的孩子,默默无声得站于四周,观看着我俩进餐。
按照原文语序很容易翻成:I looked up and saw that a group of children in rags surrounding us silently and seeing us eating dinner.
评语:直白,动词堆砌,不流畅。
先准备语言信息:抬头一看:look up;衣衫褴褛的孩子:children in rags;默默:silently;观看:look at .最后范文是:Looking up, I saw that we were surrounded by children in rags who were looking at us as we ate .(新概念3 第48课line35-36)
分析:范文用到了现在分词作伴随 状语(looking up,),主动意思由被动形式表达,(were surrounded by)并设计出一个定语从句来(who were looking at us as we ate)原文中看不出来定语(。的)痕迹。
对策,含有多个动词的句子,将动词进行主次区分,次要动词非谓语化,主要动词谓语化,附带从句设计,定语从句首当其冲现行被考虑。
总之,写句子时,不要立马下手,凝神定气,多三思,在结构安排上有所建树和创新,大胆将信息重组,结构优化,力图写出地道的英文句子,这是个长期的功夫。
最后建议学员可将新概念2,3 册拿来做汉译英的练习,将每篇课文的中文译文试着翻译成英文,再与原文对照,个中差距,一对照即晓个清楚。
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