2014中考英语写作提升周周练+范文精讲(2)

父母为我们付出了很多，你又做过哪些事情来表达自己的感恩之情呢?某英文报纸就感恩主题进行征文，请你投稿。描述你为父母做过的一件事，并谈谈你的感受。

提示词语：grow up, show ones gratitude (表示感激), something special

One possible version:

Theres no doubt that parents have given me a lot since I was born. With their care, I grow up happily. So I think it is necessary to do something special for them to show my gratitude. Both of my parents love music. So it would be a great idea to buy a wonderful CD for them. Last Sunday, I went to a bookstore and chose one among the top 10.

While we were having dinner together, I played the CD. It was beautiful. With great joy, they gave me a warm hug and a big smile. I felt very sweet. I was really proud that I did something for my parents. Their smiles were the best encouragement for me. I made up my mind to do things like this more often.

范文讲解：

审题要点：1.翻译中文提示，引出话题感激。 2.描述一件事。 3.谈感受

注意：英文提示词尽量都用上，已用红色表示出来。

一. 开篇翻译提示，引出话题：

Theres no doubt that parents have given me a lot since I was born. With their care, I grow up happily. So I think it is necessary to do something special for them to show my gratitude

精彩句型和短语：There is no doubt that....或者 Undoubtedly... 表示毫无疑问

Show ones gratitude：表达感激之情。

句型提升：Undoubtedly，parents have put much time and effort into bringing me up.

点评：务必先翻译提示，然后引出感激父母这个话题。

二.描述一件事：

Both of my parents love music. So it would be a great idea to buy a wonderful CD for them. Last Sunday, I went to a bookstore and chose one among the top 10. While we were having dinner together, I played the CD. It was beautiful. With great joy, they gave me a warm hug and a big smile. I felt very sweet.

点评：记叙一个事的时候，注意要有细节，体现出画面感。亮点：I played the CD.

It was beautiful. With great joy, they gave me a warm hug and a big smile.

另外，要有记叙顺序：事情的起因，经过，结果。 三个缺一不可，为什么要买

CD，买 CD 的经过是什么，CD 怎么样的。送给妈妈后的结果是什么。

三.最后谈感受：

I was really proud that I did something for my parents. Their smiles were the best encouragement for me. I made up my mind to do things like this more often.

点评：谈感受要先说自己对于这个事的感受，这个事的意义是什么。再说以后会怎么做。

精彩句型和短语：Their smiles were the best encouragement for me. Make up ones mind to do sth, 下定决心做某事。

句型提升：Small as it was，The CD represented my love and gratitude to my parents. And I felt really proud that I did something special for them. Encouraged by their understanding smiles, I made up my mind to do things like this more often as my sincere gratitude.

第一档：(15~13 分)

完全符合题目要求，观点正确，要点齐全。句式多样，词汇丰富。语言准确，语意连贯，表达清楚，具有逻辑性。

第二档：(12~9 分)

基本符合题目要求，观点正确，要点齐全。语法结构和词汇基本满足文章需要。语言基本通顺，语意基本连贯，表达基本清楚。虽然有少量语言错误，但不影响

整体理解。

第三档：(8~5 分)

部分内容符合题目要求，要点不齐全。语法结构和词汇错误较多，语言不通顺，表达不够清楚，影响整体理解。

第四档：(4~0 分)

与题目有关内容不多，只是简单拼凑提示词语，所写内容难以理解。