所在位置：查字典英语网 >留学英语 > 雅思英语 > 雅思英语写作 > 雅思写作范文首段点评+修改

雅思写作范文首段点评+修改

发布时间：2016-02-29 编辑：查字典英语网小编

　　Some people think that old people should not be forced by law to retire at the age of 60-65 if they wish to continue working. Do you agree with this point of view?

　　A much debated issue these days is whether the old people should be forced by law to have a retirement when they are at the age of 60-65, without considering about their own wishes. Although the government wants to make the old people have a better relaxation in their latter lives in this way, personally I do not agree with this idea in the following reasons. 审题不清, 立意不明

　　Modified: As medical science develops rapidly and peoples living conditions get better and better, the world has seen a growing population of old people. Recently, whether old people must retire at the age of 60-65 has become a much debated issue. Whereas many argue that we should set up laws to force the old to retire before they reach the age of 60-65 in order to reserve more jobs for younger people, others insist that only elder people themselves have the final say in this issue. Personally , I am in total support of the latter argument for the following reasons.

查看全部

上一篇：雅思写作范文：广告的利弊

下一篇：雅思流程图高分范文：玻璃再生