如何淡化雅思写作模板痕迹

　　一、前言

　　在上篇文章中，我们分析了对单边结构文章做淡化模板痕迹处理的方法。在这篇文章中，将着重分析如何消除双边结构的模板痕迹。众所周知，双边结构主要有两个方面的特征：考题文字中的观点双向和考生对观点支持角度的双边讨论，但最好不要模棱两可，应该有明确的单一指向性的观点倾向。

　　同样地，对于判断作文的结构类型，应该不是大的问题，我们关心的是，考生太过依赖所谓的模板，而使得文章没有灵活度，否则，期望通过所谓捷径来快速取得理想的分数往往会适得其反。

　　本文中，将主要通过分析双边结构类型作文中比较常见的话题，为考生分析如何淡化写作中的模板痕迹，使文章更为灵活。

　　二、分析

　　真题链接：In some countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

　　以上是剑桥中的考试真题，相信大家都已经非常熟悉了。我们就一起结合此题，对双边结构的整体文章结构和遣词造句做一个简单的对比。

　　1.引言段

　　引言段是通篇作文的开篇之作，对于它的写法多种多样。但是无论怎样书写，切忌出现以下模式性的语句样式：

　　模板语言：

　　Nowadays, the discussion about is a very controversial one. Those who criticize. argue that, but people who advocate, on the other hand, maintain that

　　这样的模板相信大家不会陌生，它曾经受到无数考生的青睐。但是我们说过，这样过于机械的语言，很难体现出考生对考题文字的理解，更为糟糕的是，你的开头有可能和无数人是重复的!

　　下面我们就做一个简单的对比：

　　非模板语言：

　　No matter in which country, children are, without any exception, regarded as the protected in society, not to mention making them involved in any forms of paid-work.The necessity of allowing them to make money with their own hands is indeed worth discussing

　　2.主体段

　　模板语言：

　　1. The benefits of can be perceived in many aspects.

　　In the first place, 分论点一. For instance, 例证 / 语言论证。In the second place, 分论点二. 论证.

　　2. However, has also given rise to a lot of problems.

　　For one thing,For another, Finally,

　　在传统的模板里，双边结构的主体段只是简单地分段论证两方面的观点，虽然将两种对立观点展现的非常清晰，但是也难免落入模式化的俗套。

　　做一个简单的对比：

　　非模板语言：

　　a.让步分析

　　Admittedly, hardship and bitterness of life could drive people to become mature. Under working pressure, children think about finishing their tasks before the deadline instead of concerning how to kill their seemingly limitless free time. Work may be the only priority of their life. It is fairly different between taking a dollar from their parents and earning one by themselves. Only the tough reality can force them to get rid of selfishness and dependence on their parents, which is exactly one of the most urgently needed cures in parental education.

　　双边结构的一个重要特点就是双边论证两种观点，在这篇文章里可以先让步论证一个观点，这样可以为后一个观点的论证提供很好的对比。

　　b.转折过渡+提出观点

　　However, everything is mixed blessing. Employing children to work should be viewed as a harsh treatment and abuse to them. Kids, after all, unlike adults, are immature both physically and psychologically. They are extremely vulnerable to both occupational hazards and social evils. More importantly, children are at the golden age for learning not only due to their brain structure but also their curiosity and desire for knowledge. It goes without saying that the silly action permitting children to work for financial reasons is ridiculous.

　　双边结构的第二段要论述对立面的观点，但是不同于上一段的是，此段不仅要充分的客观陈述一种观点同时还要带有观点倾向，因为要完成文章的第二个任务---提出自己的观点。笔者认为这样的观点提法比较自然，不需要另起一段提出而显得比较呆板。

　　3.结尾段

　　模板语言：

　　In the final analysis, I concede that to some extent whether the ultimate effect of phenomena is good or not, one thing is certain that phenomenon in itself is neither good nor bad. And it is the uses to which it is put that determine its value to society. I am convinced that___________.

　　做一个简单的对比：

　　非模板语言：

　　In conclusion, although there lies various excuses for letting the young children work for salary, it is pointless that this way could benefit them in terms of accumulating work experience and learning the meaning of responsibility.

　　作为双边结构作文的结尾，需要总结全文，即主体段两段的大意，同时要结合题目本身的特点提出鲜明的个人观点。

　　三、总结

　　和上篇文章一样，中心建议各位考生：不要盲目追求所谓模板，要注重灵活度。笔者认为，中国考生写作得分低，除了语法这个大问题以外，其实一味背诵模板甚至随处套用所谓万能模板是丢分的一大原因。写作的最高境界就是把各种连接化于无形，实现语义的自然衔接。考生必须根据考题的要求，调用自己原有的语言配上正确的语法，使作文具有鲜明的个人特色，侃侃而谈。在考场中，拉近与考官的距离而不是设置一道冷冰冰的模板墙。