批改网精美雅思写作范文（2）

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　　TopicSome people think that the young children benefit from going to the nursery school before starting primary school. Others think it is better for the young children to stay all day with the families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

　　Rewritten Sample Writing

　　The need for preschool education to assist young children to prepare well for primary schools is widely acknowledged by an increasing number of parents. Some believe that nursery schools have the potential to provide a concrete foundation before starting formal education, while others argue that staying with the families is more beneficial.

　　To begin with, going to nursery school provides young children more opportunities to interact with different people, especially those of similar ages. It is apparent that kindergartens in a community accommodate children who are from different families and they are looked after on a group basis. For example, a report conducted by sociologists statistically proves that young children who are educated in preschools, normally perform better and show less anxiety to strangers when they meet with other people in later schooling.

　　Further, children who enter kindergartens have better ability of using their language. The reason is that young children tend to speak and communicate with friends more often than those who remain at home, and meanwhile, some pre-schools even start a second language education at a very early stage as three to seven years of age is the prime time for language learning.

　　However, there are some disadvantages involved in preschools as well. Young children, at times, have to spend five to six hours in kindergartens and when they finish dinner and shower after arriving home, they have to go to bed, which leaves no quality time to enjoy with their parents.

　　Apart from this, diseases among young children in kindergartens spread quicker and they have a higher possibility to become infected rather than those who stay at home. A personal example is that my little brother used to catch cold a few times every month, as his friends in the kindergarten always infected him.

　　To sum up, both pros and cons have been discussed as a guideline for parents to consider, however, in my opinion, the advantages of preschool education outweigh its drawbacks.