帮离婚者“疗伤”的指导师

对于“交战”的夫妇来说，离婚律师以烧钱著称。但对想结束关系的人来说，最不需要的就是在分手上花更多钱。如今，一群名为“离婚指导师”的人挺身而出，不仅能帮你在离婚战中出谋划策、规划省钱，还能助你驱散这段失败关系带来的阴霾。

Divorce coaches is a new industry dedicated to helping husbands or wives navigate their way out of marriage.

离婚指导师是一个致力于帮助丈夫或妻子走出婚姻的新行业。

Karen McMahon, a divorce coach in New York, says: "Coaching is in its in­fancy and divorce coaching is embryon­ic." Practitioners come from a range of backgrounds, including financial planners, therapists and mediators. Crudely, coaching — traditionally associated with executives — focuses on future goals and potential, whereas therapy might explore past emotional issues in order to gain insight.

纽约离婚指导师卡伦·麦克马洪表示：“指导行业正处于发展初期，而离婚指导行业则还处于萌芽期。”从业者拥有各种各样的背景，包括理财规划师、治疗师和调解员。粗略地说，指导——传统上主要是为高管服务——着眼于未来的目标和可能性，而治疗则是通过探究过去的情感问题来获得深入了解。

Karen Bigman, also based in New York and known as the "divorcierge", charges about $95 per hour. She describes the work: "We help educate [clients] about their options. We can act as a sounding board, help put together a plan, coach through difficult periods as well as guide clients through meetings with divorce professionals such as attorneys and financial advisers."

同在纽约的卡伦·比格曼被称为“divorcierge”，收费约为每小时95美元。她这样描述这份工作：“我们帮助（客户）了解他们面临的选择。我们可以提供意见，帮忙制定计划，指导他们度过艰难的时期、与律师和财务顾问等离婚方面的专业人士会面。”

A divorce coach may help clients plan ahead for legal meetings to maximise efficiency. Despite the number of marriages that break down, divorce still has a stigma. The issues tackled include how to talk to a child about separation (heaps of reassurance, make them feel loved and make sure they know that it is not their fault; nor should you treat them as a go-between or a therapist); how to hand your child over to your ex; how to move on and forge a single life.

离婚指导师能帮助客户提前为他们与法律人士的会面拟定计划，以使效率最大化。尽管破裂的婚姻很多，离婚依然是一件让人有耻辱感的事情。离婚指导师的项目解决的问题包括，如何和孩子谈论离婚（大量抚慰、让他们感觉自己是被爱着的、确保他们知道父母离婚不是他们的错；不应该把孩子当做中间人或者心理治疗师）？如何把你的孩子托付给前任？如何继续前进，经营一种单身生活？

One issue many divorcing persons seem to suffer from, she says, is remaining stuck in the past. "We create little stepping stones, for example, making them commit to going out, rather than hide under the duvet," a divorce coach said.

一位离婚指导师表示，一个令许多离婚人士为之痛苦的问题是他们深陷于过去而不可自拔。“我们建立了小小的垫脚石，比如，促使他们走出门，而不是躲在被子下面。”