职场“乖乖女”是好还是坏？

Being the "nice girl" at work has its perks —everyone gravitates toward you because you're always trying to please other people. However, in terms of getting what you want in your career and having your career progress at the rate you want it to, being too "nice" might hinder you. Lois Frankel, author of Nice Girls Just Don't Get It advises to "get outside your comfort zone and be willing to deal with other people's discomfort, because if you spend your life making other people comfortable, you may feel good, but you're not going to get what you really want."

在办公室里做个“乖乖女”有它的好处——每个人都会被你所吸引，因为你总是尽力取悦别人。然而，考虑到你对职业发展的期望和对职业发展速度的渴求，表现得太过nice恐怕反而会妨碍到你。《好女孩就是不明白》的作者路易斯·法兰克建议姑娘们“离开你们的舒适带，并愿意去处理他人的不适。因为假如你一辈子都花在如何让别人感到更舒适上，你或许会感觉很好，但你很难得到你真正想要的东西”。

To get ahead at work, you need to be more assertive, but you don't have to be too aggressive about it —there are ways to do it in a positive manner. Here are some tips Frankel has for women to drop the "nice" act:

想要在职场获得领先，你需要变得更自私一些，但你也没必要表现得太过咄咄逼人——有很多办法可以让你既能实现自己的利益，又显得不失礼节。以下就是弗兰克为那些为人太过nice的乖乖女们提出的建议：

Leverage Your Relationships: If you have cultivated a great network and relationships, don't feel bad about reaching out to someone for help. Many "nice girls" feel bad asking others for help, but they need to get over that and take advantage of the relationships they worked hard to build.

平衡你的人际关系：假如你培养了良好的人脉和人际关系，不要觉得找别人帮忙是件坏事。很多“乖乖女”会觉得让别人帮忙不好，但她们必须跨过这道坎，才能更好地利用她们精心建立起的人脉。

Don't Say Yes All the Time: Pick and choose what you'll say yes to, and be sure to "manage people's expectations" by stating your limitations about the project and what you'll realistically be able to get done.

别总是说“好”：选一些你会说“好”的事情，学会“控制人们的期望”，你需要列举出你对于这个项目能做到的极限，以及你实际有能力做到的事情。

Use Less Words: Instead of talking too much, try to make your messages succinct and to the point. Frankel says, "Women tend to use more words than men because they either feel as if they have to compensate for something or prove themselves." Use less words and gestures. Be sure to be mindful of filler words such as "like" and "uh-huh" as well.

少说话：与其说太多话，不如试着让你的语言更简练并且切中要害。弗兰克说，“女人们总是倾向于使用更多的语言，那是因为她们认为她们需要弥补一些东西，或是证明她们的观点。”你应该减少你的语言和动作。为了表现得更有思想，你也需要停止使用诸如“貌似”或是“唔-额”这样的词语。