“成功”是个迷人的字眼,它代表了一个人想获得的一切。人人都在急急忙忙地向成功狂奔,在路上奋力挣扎。可是成功不是那么容易得来的。
“Slow down you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you want to be before your time.” ~Billy Joel.
There is too much hype about thriving to success and way too many hits about that “race” on the I-net (only 360 million!). Even the most simple, profound and usable advice on how to win the success race is getting caught up in the chase to unload the overload. Chaos is mounting by the nanosecond and we are all running out of time, just trying to survive and getting more frustrated in the process.
Maybe it is time to pause and think about how we can walk our way to success and still have enough breath left over to enjoy a little bit of it? I like the saying, “death is nature’s way of telling us to slow down.” It certainly makes its point.
If the self-help/self-growth industry concentrates on slowing down to see how we can teach ourselves and others how to walk to success, we will be taking this success thing to a whole new level. And this effort is always a matter of good timing. All zestfully successful thrivers have to accept the dilemma they are part of.
First, the more knowledge and wisdom you have, the more you identify with it to the point of staking your whole worth and selfhood on this valuable knowledge. You are more right and others are less right. But that builds a prideful ego so full of itself that no one is remotely interested in the most sensible of solutions. The barrel of good apples stinks.
Secondly, having all this knowledge and wisdom and wanting to apply it liberally and freely to the masses is like being a driver of a car who is forced to stay patient idling the engine when all he or she really wants to do is rev it up, screech tires and lay rubber on the speedway. Of course the impatience shows big-time and over-flavors the enemy pride and ego even further. And less running success is the obvious result, making the impatience worsen in a vicious circle.
How do you walk to success in the self-growth and self-improvement business? Here are some walking lessons learned the hard way.
1. You have to carefully listen to and understand other people’s problems before you know what the common ground is between you, where you can offer the most important part of your solutions to build upon what they are doing right, when the right time arises.
Sometimes when you are running, this is too much of a blur. And much of the time people really don’t want or even need your “cure.” They just want to be heard and understood. This is no longer common with just unhappily married female spouses with non-listening husbands.
2. You can know mountains of good stuff but it is only a valuable mountain to you. With others it may be more of an obstacle to getting to trust you enough to share vulnerabilities and secrets and ask questions. It is trite but true: People don’t care what you know until they know you care. And expressing genuine care doesn’t happen overnight or by instant fiat.
3. Successful walking requires using supportive communication, whereas unsuccessful running relies on defensive communication. Walking to success involves being positive, polite, spontaneous, honest, empathetic, accepting, equal and tentative, while avoiding negativity, rudeness, manipulating dishonesty, insensitivity, judgment, superiority and over-certainty.
4. When you are 3/4ths the way to your own success, that is usually the time when you want to offer advice to everyone else. But guess what? That is probably when you need to apply your own best advice to yourself to finish the job you started. And when you do that you won’t be talking as much as showing.
5. There is only one way to deal with the impatience that interferes with walking to success. That is to ask others on the same journey, but maybe somewhat ahead up the road啊, how they deal with it. They’ll tell you. It’s all about delaying your immediate need gratification with legitimate intermediate substitutes.
好书推荐:初中英语完形填空练习
专家支招:家长如何帮助孩子突破初中英语
新目标英语八年级上Unit 1-6词组总复习
如何利用美国思维练好英语口语?
中学生要寻找适合自己的学习方法
北大才子教你初中英语完形填空高分做题法
初中生学好英语口语的5要诀
2010中考英语必考考点感叹句巧解
名师解读2010中考英语语法必考点
从初中开始模仿语音语调可提高英语口语
初中孩子适合看什么样的英语读物?
2010中考必备:选择填空精编1000题E
2010中考必备:选择填空精编1000题D
备战2010中考英语 提高语法就要多阅读是吗?
亘古不变的方法提高英语阅读能力
初中各年级学生在英语期末考前该怎么办?
初中英语期末考试备战攻略之完型填空
经常用到的初中英语词汇6个记忆方法
怎样培养初中学生英语阅读分析能力?
我们在学习英语音标时的注意事项
国庆长假初三英语学习要重效率 应定期检查巩固
总分考第一英语拖后腿 中考当前偏科学生心里慌
初中英语听力培养方法:有目的、有计划、有选择、有策略
初中孩子英语成绩落后可能是读写困难
英语学习者常犯这三大英语学习误区
初中英语陈述句变感叹句全解
原创系列:如何应对初三英语期中考试?
乐加乐英语名师解析09秋人大附期中考试试题
孩子每天做题 但英语还很差怎么办?
初三英语长期备考学习要重效率 应定期检查巩固
不限 |
英语教案 |
英语课件 |
英语试题 |
不限 |
不限 |
上册 |
下册 |
不限 |